Since I last wrote I have had small amounts of cooked food twice. Both times it was preplanned for family birthday parties. I didn't want to make myself stand out at other people's special occassions and I was having an ongoing food craving for the things I ate, so I went ahead and had them. No regrets but lots of body rebellion!
Once was pizza, the other time was Thai stir fry. Here's the bottom line: the body rebels. I ate slowly, chewed really thoroughly, and still, the pizza in particular gave me terrible intestinal pains, intestinal mucus (sorry), and about 48 hours of regret. The stir fry faired better but left me very thirsty for days. I found myself craving carrot juice afterwards. Something so fresh tasting and alive!
I'm trying to always allow a balance between the raw eating and my old compulsions, knowing that if I stuff down some food urges, they will rise up and overpower me. But I also need to steer clear of known food triggers: foods that bring up this compulsion to eat quickly and unhealthily for non-physical hunger reasons. I don't believe in dealing with trigger foods therapeutically the way some intuitive eating books say to. No way. There are some things I can't handle being near and I just steer clear. It might improve when and if I become more conscious of the origins of my urges to overeat but until then, I'm staying off Temptation Island.
Prior to the first cooked food, I had a few days of tremendous always-on-my-mind hunger. I was eating my usual raw foods (juice in the morning, veggies for lunch, smoothie in the afternoon, veggies later if hungry), but this really overpowering hunger kept gnawing at me, even when my stomach was full. I honestly couldn't tell if it was physical or mental or what.
Eating the pizza at Family Party #1 initially seemed to tame it, but then my body felt so uncomfortable for the days after that I would have traded for the deep hunger feeling instead.
The days and weeks into a raw lifestyle are interesting and sometimes challenging. The body does a lot of wacky things, seemingly releasing a lot of old crap through any exit it can find. I loved it when, after a month or so, I reached the point where I no longer had body odor or morning breath and could go without deodorant. As I have discussed previously, pretty much all of my bodily aches and pains went away once I started eating raw. I still haven't had significant menstrual cramps or a migraine since I started . But weird bouts come along that I attribute to more cleansing that my body is doing.
For example, the other day I was suddenly very tired, which is odd with my raw life. I lay down to rest on the couch and got a case of the chills like nobody's business. I was shaking, felt feverish, fell into some dreams, awoke, and felt better. Very odd. Episodes like that happen now and then. I can't say it's the raw food causing it, but I can say I feel there's a perceived association. The good news is, as weird as these things are, I like them because I feel like I'm reaching a higher level of purity in my eating.
Looking back, I can remember watching shows where people would be discussing the diet they were using to treat their child's illness (autism or other things). They might avoid gluten or casein or that sort of thing. I remember thinking, I could never go without bread! Or whatever they were naming. I felt that far from being able to contain my eating habits. Sure, what I ate fell nicely into the target categories in the food pyramid, but what value is that? Those food guides are produced under pressure from various food producers to ensure their items get top billing. It's all economics and greed and it means nothing to a person trying to create a healthy life. And it sure wasn't good for me. I felt like crap but thought I was doing my best.
Fast forward and here I am, eating raw foods, feeling 100% better, and marveling at how much simpler it is than I ever thought possible. There's a purity to this way of eating that feels really right and good.The thought of consuming highly processed foods, food colouring, additives, preservatives, or any unknowable ingredients that you read on labels, just does not ever seem worth it. I've only got one body, one life. I can't risk putting junk in it. Especially when I now know that all my health ailments and sleep problems were resolved by eating fresh, uncooked fruits and veggies, nuts and seeds.
On a side note, it also started feeling very odd to wear makeup or nail polish. I have since said good-bye to a toe polishing fetish that lasted my entire adulthood. Natural nails look good to me now and polish seems to keep the nails from getting oxygen.
So, I'm glad I tried the cooked foods and I also see that there's no turning back without the body really rebelling. I feel like I'm cornering my old overeating habit and the feelings attached to it can now rise up, get noticed, and dissolve.
A few people have written to ask more about my favourite juice recipes . I'll try and get to that next time. Until then, I will say that my perennial favourite is 1 apple, 3 stalks celery, 3 big carrots. Yum. Onward and upward. And count me out on pizza night!