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(90-Day Detox) Day 78: Love Without Limits

Posted May 12 2009 5:43pm

Goooooood morning, Sunshine!

Yesterday was my first day of Green Juices. I SO wasn’t prepared and didn’t eat enough at all, so I think that’s part of the reason I’m feeling a bit… bleeech this morning. It’s like having a window into the toxic moments of my life. A physiological reminder of the less-wonderful things I’ve done to myself.

I guess this is detox. ;-)I’m humbled by this experience. I feel calm. I feel green. I would love to dive into fruit, but I really can see what a difference this makes.

Excuse the juicy details, but I don’t think you’ll mind… I’ve noticed candida moving its way out of the system. It flared up recently for the first time in 6 years! i don’t know what it was… the fruit, the fat, the astral projections for Virgo?

I didn’t manage to get to my yoga class yesterday, but in light of the under-eating, that’s probably a good thing. Today I’ve already hydrated, I’m about to do an intestinal FLUSH! (don’t you love the juicy details ;-)) and then going to keep that juicer busy all day long.

I find all the green makes me COLD!! They say foods have warming and cooling properties. I know bananas in the winter make me SHIVER!! And all this green food has me feeling pretty chilly. I’m not sure how long I’ll continue with juices. I nibbled on a few green veggies yesterday–not more than a couple tablespoons and I tried to spit out the fiber when I remembered. I guess that’s “cheating” but I really don’t care. ;-) Today I’ll try to be a bit more “strict” about it just for the sake of seeing what happens but I think KEY is having enough juice ready to go.

I’m missing fruit BIG TIME, but committed to riding out this process and observing the reactions taking place in my body. I went through an initial elation, but now am feeling very CALM and observant.

Focused.

Clear-headed.

I admit that it was strange to go for dinner last night. While they ate fajitas, I had a wine glass with green swamp water in it. One of the things that was really GREAT about that experience is it confirmed for me that it is NOT a big deal to order a salad or eat veggies when people are having dinner with their regular cooked food fare at the same table. It’s a whole different  ball game to politely sip swamp water while they pile on an extra serving of salsa and look at you a bit confused.

Anyone who says they don’t know how to socialize as a raw foodist has officially lost my sympathy. Order a salad! Nothin’ to it! If you think it’s tough, order a green juice. The salad feels like steak after that. ;-)

Yesterday’s blog post struck a chord with many of you and I’m soooooo glad. It’s empowering to realize that the only thing holding you back is YOU! Empowering and humbling too, I suppose. As much as we try to find “excuses” or “justifications” for not being where we say we want to be, there there’s no one tying us down to shove pretzels in our faces. ;-)

It’s your hand EVERY TIME that brings food to your mouth so YOU are in the driver’s seat, Baby.

I watched myself in the driver’s seat yesterday. There’s a certain amount of discipline involved in doing juices for only one day. I can tell you, it was A LOT easier with Mr. Right around. I’ve tried SO many times and never been able to do it on my own. I mentioned that he was totally committed to supporting me for this process. He’s been AMAZING! The Detox Doctor checking in on my all the time.

Funny, because after having supported over 15,000 women on a detox, I hadn’t realized how much I needed a bit of support myself.

I’ve never felt THAT supported before in my weird food adventures. I think most people are just overwhelmed with the strange extremism of what I do. It didn’t matter to him how strange it sounded, he just wanted to know what my goals were and then do whatever it took to help me achieve them.

In general it also helped to be distracted by the events of being together, instead of here, on my own with the fridge whispering my name. I really think community is important. I really do think we’re better together.

This song kinda sums up where I’m at on that subject!

Watching the evolution of this new relationship with Mr. Right has given me new insights into Divaland because it’s like a microcosm for our community. Some say, “You’re only as a strong as your weakest link.”

Today I disagree with that idea.

I watch how my strengths compliment Mr. Right’s weaknesses. I watch how my weakness finds strength in his “way of being”. I think we are better together and I’m not just talking about me and Mr. Right. I’m talking about all of us. How many things have you been able to achieve as part of this community? How many times have you been given strength by reading someone else’s story? How many times have you felt lousy, then gone to a park or received a phone call that perked you up?

We can do so much to support and strengthen each other. It goes without saying, that we can also be dragged down and negatively influenced by others as well. There’s been some talk on the blog of negative relationships, and I think it’s a valuable subject to address in light of the detox theme we’re still working with. I can say that I’ve definitely encountered some toxic relationships in my life. But I can also see how MY behavior, MY responses, MY fears, MY insecurities, MY unhandled crap were in large part responsible for the toxicity.

Sometimes life dishes out surprises in the form of interesting people. ;-) Sometimes we choose emotions like anger, resentment and blame and direct it toward others. This is a self-destructive process since you’re the only one swirling in negative emotions when you do this. No matter how bad a situation or relationship gets there is ALWAYS, ALWAYS something you can do to improve it.

A cat can’t scratch a glass pole.

People can’t irritate, annoy or get your goat unless YOU have your own issues for them to grab onto. Situations and people can’t shake you up, unless you’ve got stuff that can be shaken. ;-)

Do you know what I mean?

There’s always SOMETHING you can do to improve a situation, ANY situation, EVERY situation, EVEN THE SITUATIONS YOU THINK YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR. And a part of you knows there’s something you can do.

In my life I’ve gone to all kinds of extremes, different books, authority figures and friends looking for answers to what life is all about. I learned the most in relationship to other people. I learn the most when I fearlessly dive into the experience of living with LOVE for the people and experiences around me because I recognize I DO have some degree of responsibility for them. When you look out at the world through responsibility-tinted glasses, you gain a certain degree of leverage. It’s like you own your life just a little bit more. That’s a beautiful thing.

If none of this has made any sense at all, then allow me to take the role of victim to the effects of the bok choy, parsley, celery, broccoli and cucumber juice that is making its way through my system right now.

I think my brain is on detox, so rather than belabor what risks being a rather convoluted blog post (which I will post anyway, by the way) I best get off to handling other unfinished tasks.

I’ll leave you with this thought:

I tried to find a motto for myself at one point and the only words that really resonated were “love without limits”.

It works for me. Sounds simple, but I’m okay with that. Whether you apply it to your relationship with yourself, your food, your environment, friends or family, there’s always something you can do to find a graceful space within. There’s always something you can to to stretch the boundaries of how much love  you allow yourself to give, to receive and shine out onto the world.

Hope you got through Day One okay, Sugarplum.

Detoxing diva,

Tera

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