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(90-Day Detox) Day 73: Wind in my Wings

Posted May 06 2009 1:07pm

Uh-oh.

Time to call in the re-enforcements.

I’ve been having INSANE (you hear me? I mean CRRRRAAAAZZZY) cravings for salt and I’ve been giving in. I think it would require being strapped to a chair for me to hold up against them. I actually feel it circulating in my body and so far, I haven’t been able to resist. Not yet, anyway. ;-) I finally finished setting up my juicer. I’m loaded up with all I need to make a few liters of Green Juice for my day, and by Golly, Molly, I’m going to do it.

I told you the other day I cleaned out my cupboards. Well, there were TWO little things I didn’t clear out. I don’t know why, but I just figured they wouldn’t get me. Well… in a moment of weakness, when I least expected it, these two things literally jumped out of the closet and wrestled me to the ground.

“Don’t be so obsessed about what you eat” huh?

*grrrr….*

I’m having a spiritual arm-wrestling match with myself right now and I’m not quite sure what it’s going to take for me to buckle down and make this happen while still respecting the motivation behind this entire program and not becoming “obsessed”. The fact that we extended the 6-Week Detox by another week  let me justify putting off the high discipline I was motivated with in the beginning.

“Don’t be so obsessed about what you eat.”

That doesn’t necessarily mean don’t be a 100% raw foodist. It doesn’t mean don’t be careful or disciplined about what you eat.

It just means don’t be obsessed about your food. There’s a fine line between commitment/dedication and obsession/extremism. I told you I’ve been reading about the “evil dangers of cooked food” and I wanted to write more about it, but on the other hand… I see the effect it has on my mind. I watch my kids eat something cooked, or anyone, and hydrogenated thoughts overtake me. A string of toxic ideas invade my space and I watch the world feed themselves carcinogens while in desperation I wonder if a cardiac arrest will get them before cancer does. Truth is, with thoughts like that, I’ll be the first one to kick the bucket.

I believe that what you put attention on expands! What good do I do for the world when I’ve got my attention on the toxicity of food, rather than the color of the sky, or the sounds of birds, or the company of good friends?!

You know, stress is stress. If you’re putting toxins into the system through your food or your stuffy attitude, I don’t think it’s any different for the body. I’ve seen so many stressed-out, unhappy, INTENSE raw foodists. I’ve seen a lot of joyful, easy-going, cooked foodists, too. These justifications–this idea that being obsessed about your food isn’t good for you, etc. these ideas cannot be justifications for someone like me to hold back on being disciplined. I mean, if I’m here to push the limits of what’s possible, if I’m here to live MY best life, then what holds me back from taking that next step?

Patterns of self-sabotaging behavior aren’t the most comfortable to look at, but hiding them, denying them or avoiding them won’t bring resolution, either. How do we confront our negative/unhealthy patterns of behavior without engaging in self-punishment or becoming introverted?

One of the things that I’ve found very valuable in life is developing my ability to CONFRONT. That means just being able to see something for what it is…without judgment. Just observation. The ability to observe without judgment is a very rare thing. We are so quick to taint our experiences with bias, with emotions that don’t belong, with opinions, etc.

They say you can not change the things you’re not willing to confront. Whatever is going on for you, just look at it for what it is without judgment.

I can identify what’s going on for myself right now. I can see it for what it is and rather than mope or be frustrated or disappointed with myself, I’m just going to observe the process. Then do something about it.

And I don’t know how many times I’ll need to stumble before I learn to fly, but in the meantime I’m just going to hold the vision of clear, blue skies, wind in my wings and love in my heart. Soon enough, I’ll get there.

How are YOU doing, Sugarplum?

Love,

Tera

P.S.

Since I’m having a bit of trouble keeping eyelids open to get this blog post in every day, I am simply going to commit to 90-Days of detox and posting, and the intention is that these be 90-consecutive days, but as I’ve missed a couple, then I just keep posting each post a new day. Even though if we added them up, we’d be closer to 77 or something right now. Hope that’s okay, but I would like a written record of at least 90 Days. Will do my best to catch you cupcakes in the mornings so I can be sure to stay awake and get the message sent off in time.

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