(90-Day Detox) Day 39: The Only Way Out Is Through Part 2
Posted Mar 26 2009 4:19pm
I’m sorry to those I promised a support blog yesterday. I certainly had that intention when I started, but yesterday got a bit long winded so here’s where I was going to go with my discussion yesterday:
( Obviously, if you can’t read and have the background music playing at the same time, then you can reduce the volume and just kinda let it play, but I actually want you to know that I spend a lot of time picking these songs and the lyrics themselves could be considered blog posts on their own. So, if you want an extra boost, then listen to it, read the lyrics and enjoy! )
Okay, so let’s get serious. We have some people in distress and I need to address it in a significant way. Beth sent me this is as “Angst on the first day of Spring” and I just want to know if it sounds familiar at all:
Winter is out the door, and so is my diet. I say ‘diet’ lightly, meaning it as the foods I normally eat. I went vegetarian in June of last year, vegan in October, and spent 2 weeks as a raw vegan during February. Then, hell broke loose. I was stressed out, and instead of reaching for carrot sticks, my hands dove right into the peanut butter, crackers, breads, cheeses, and sweets. I binged like this for two days before I threw up my hands and did something about it.
Unfortunately, what I did was not very smart. Instead of going back on a raw vegan, or even vegan lifestyle, I water fasted for 12 days. While the benefits of fasting are numerous, I hardly received any of them. I developed the flu during my fast, and had to end early. Once I could eat again, instead of going back into fruits and veggies like I knew I should, I dove right into processed food hell. And it’s been that way ever since.
I’m not happy with the lifestyle I’m leading now. I’ve developed a bad reaction to gluten, so I’ve cut that out completely. But, I’m still eating cooked and processed foods heavily. I miss the feeling of being light while being raw vegan. But, I’ve realized that it’s impossible to be raw vegan when I’m under stress.
In the two weeks I was raw, I lost 8 lbs. I used to be extremely overweight. It took me 4 years to go from 262 lbs, to the 170 I am now. Tera, I don’t want to ever be that weight again. And I don’t want to wait another four years to lose 30 more lbs.
Now that spring is here, I want to start a fresh new page. Next week is the last week I would be under as much stress as I’m in now ( I’m heavily involved in a production of the musical Beauty and the Beast…next week is our last week). I’m cutting all processed foods out starting tomorrow. March 29 I’m doing the 24-hour fast, and then starting back into the raw vegan lifestyle, starting with your 7-day detox.Winter is over, and though this first day of spring I’ve had more slip-ups than I’ve cared for, I’m ready to change my life. I’ve stumbled numerous times, but like the saying goes, “Fall down 7, get up 8.”
Now, here’s what Beth left in the comments the day before yesterday:
I haven’t posted much and I have to confess it’s because I, how can I say it? Strayed? This weekend, I spent a lot of time with other people, eating meals at others’ homes and at events where I’d really have had to bring my own food to stay close to the raw diet I’m working on. And that meant that, for a few days, I tried to just nibble on the sad little plates of raw veggies and dip that someone brought, but that there was nothing else even remotely close to a raw or vegan offering around. And so I went back to my “old” way of eating. Nothing too bad, but I ate a big plate of lasagna and some meat and some desserts, and not a single meal this weekend felt like it was that good for me - and now I feel like hell. So I’m convinced that I had my body on the right path, and that I need to steer back in that direction. I’m exhausted and grumpy and I feel bloated and ick.
I want to start back at square one with a 7 day detox, and then move back on to the path of the 90 day plan. I feel sort of ashamed to admit it. So for the next day or two, I’m thinking mono meals, and then a 24 hour water fast…and I hope I’ll feel that energy come back soon!
Beth, thanks for letting me put you on the table. (Just so you know, my dears, I asked FIRST!) But I can GUARANTEE that there are people reading this right now in the same boat, they’re just not feeling comfortable enough to say anything about it or reach out for help.
We have some observable patterns of behavior within this beautiful community related to our reactions when things get rough. Let’s take a look at some of them:
First of all, people tend to roller coaster to the extremes.
The Binge-Purge back-and-forth is going to make for a rough ride. Those of us who are committed to making these dramatic changes need to make the word, “GRADIENT” our mantra. Change happens over time on a sliding scale. We don’t wake up one morning in the middle of winter and realize that Summer is here so let’s put on our bikini.
We’re not here for any unrealistic miracle purges, Ladies. We’re here for long-lasting, life-altering changes of the variety that we can implement for the long haul.
Be GENTLE WITH YOURSELF!! C’mon! Just think of all the things you’ve been through in your life. Think of the things you’ve overcome and endured. Now you’re trying to do something to make life better, more enjoyable, don’t beat yourself up for the fact that you struggle along the way. Babies don’t learn to walk overnight.
Here’s another thing I observe far too often:
People slip-up or “slide back” or “fall off the wagon” and then think the whole show is over and they should go back to Day One!
No, no, no, no, nooooooooo! Don’t DO that, Muffincake. Really. You’ve GOT TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE JOURNEY!!
Don’t completely erase for yourself the fact that you had a few glorious days on raw food just because you chomped on a bagel or two. There was a time not too long ago when you would have been eating almost exclusively bagels. If you’re running a marathon and you fall down, you’re NOT going to stand up and day, “Oh well. I better go back to the beginning and try running it again!”
PLEASE, Lovenugget. Don’t do that. Don’t go back to “Day 1″ just because Day 17 was the pits. You made it all the way to Day 17, so pat yourself on the back for that much, at the very least.
Some people race at light speed through a marathon, but they dedicate an enormous amount of time, attention and training to making that happen. Some people get there exhausted and sick for having pushed too hard then never run another one again.
Some people slow it down juuuust a bit, take deep breaths and look around to enjoy the scenery EVEN WHEN they fall on their butts or run into some other unexpected bump in the path.
And some people, sweet diva, some people WALK A MARATHON, but they still get there, for heaven’s sake! They still DO IT! They start in the morning and they get up early and they WORK IT UNTIL THEY MAKE IT!
You are on a journey, here. You DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT need to go back to the beginning because you “slipped up”.
You slipped up because there was something more to learn or overcome and if you completely invalidate all the work you’ve done to get to that place, then you risk missing the point! There’s something to learn. Sit there on your swollen butt cheeks when you fall and look around a bit. Just see what’s there to see, observe and take the learning.
Then get up and move forward at a pace that feels right for you. But KEEP GOING FORWARD!
Give yourself the satisfaction of at least finishing the process. Just like I mentioned yesterday, close one door first. If you start over every time you slip up, you’ll never get there. The first time you do this, it might be rough. But you’ll do it again and the more you do it, the easier it will get.
Find what you can to celebrate about your own journey and acknowledge the adventures. I can’t walk your path, nor should you be trying to walk mine, even if we are going to the same direction–HEALTH and a Vibrant, Passionate Life!
At the end of your days, are you going to look back and think, “I really wish I hadn’t eaten that lasagna!” or are you going to think, “I really wish I hadn’t spent so much of my life punishing myself about the food I eat.”
Look around outside and ask yourself how many others were willing to take the road you’re on. Not many, Sister, so just for having laced up the shoes and started this path, you should be acknowledge and admired for your courage! You’re a trail blazer–a pioneer in the name of health and wellness. What you do here and now could affect the lives of many people.
I only started this website in June of 2007, and now tens of thousands of lives have been touched by what I do here. But what WE do here.
So strap on your proverbial sneakers, today and do whatever it takes to get a win for yourself. It might just be avoiding ONE THING you would have otherwise eaten. It might be just that you drank water after 8pm instead of snacking. I don’t know what that one thing will be for you, but find it, acknowledge it and KEEP GOING!
What we put our attention on grows. Validate the positive and you’ll get more of it. Beat yourself up for bingeing by imposing a hard-core fast on yourself and you’ll get more bingeing. Find grace in this journey. Appreciate the bumps in the road, because they make life interesting and they teach you a lot. Problems are there for you to find creative ways to get around. So bless them and love them.
Love yourself first, then all good things will come. Be gentle. Detox self-punishment, guilt and self-invalidation from your life TODAY! Let them go. They never helped you get this far and they’re only holding back your wings now.
YOU are amazing! Live that truth in THIS moment and all will be well, my dear. I promise.
My biggest, snuggliest snuggles to you on THIS, the first day of your new life!