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(90-Day Detox) Day 13: Coming Out of the Cooked Food Closet

Posted Mar 03 2009 3:57pm

Usually we finish with a success story, but today is different. Today it’s confessional time. First of all, it’s fine and dandy to have things all upbeat and bubbly, because sometimes that’s how life is. Sometimes things really do just work out perfectly and life is good. But other times, things seem to fall apart. We lose hope, get discouraged, frustrated or just lost. I think it’s important we address some of the tools that can help us get through these things, too, in honor of the fact that maybe not everyone is feeling like a Sparkle Puff this week.

Today I thought I’d kick off the blog post with a plea for help that is not at all unusual in terms of the kinds of messages that I receive in a week. It’s completely unedited. Why don’t you read this and see if you can relate:

Hi, Tera.

I know your time is probably very limited to reading and responding to emails from people you don’t know. From reading your blog, you are super busy. So I am very grateful to you for reading this email and I hope you can help me. I have been reading your blog and I just signed up to be a part of the 90 day detox. Let me start off by telling you that I have read and researched TONS of info on eating healthy and I know the importance of a raw food diet. I was eating at least 50% raw food last summer and I felt and looked amazing. As of today, it’s a whole different story. I can’t seem to get back on track with the healthy eating and I am continually gaining weight. I’m only 5 ft. tall and I weight 134. That’s just too darn much. I am extremely disappointed with myself, burnt out and discouraged. I even took up running 3 weeks and have been doing awesome with that. But I’m not losing weight because I can’t stop eating. On my first day of doing your detox, I felt lost and unprepared. I knew I couldn’t have dairy or gluten, but I wasn’t ready to do just fruits, veggies, beans and rice. I had my green smoothie, which I do at least 3 times a week, but then around lunch time I got hungry. I looked in my cupboards and could not find anything that sounded good.

I didn’t want a piece of fruit or a carrot. Here is my problem. It’s my thinking, which I am having a hard time changing. I have to be FULLY prepared and everything perfect and in order before starting something.I am really struggling coming aboard the 90 day detox program because I started late. It just feels wrong…or like I won’t succeed because I didn’t start from day one.

I considered going to my local Whole Foods (which I do a couple of times a week already) and buying a bunch of things that are gluten free and sitting down and writing out meal plans and getting myself prepared. But, you know what, I’m too tired and too broke. I have already spent over budget this month on my groceries, and physically I feel horrible. I just want to sleep; not take on a huge project like preparing my mind, body and home to not eat gluten or dairy anymore. To give you an example of how out of control my diet is, yesterday I ate nothing but carbs. I was trying eat healthy. I even passed up my husband’s Papa John’s pizza. I didn’t even eat dinner and I gave my 4 year old daughter some lentil soup instead of nasty pizza. But, for breakfast I had a half of a blueberry muffin from Whole Foods. For lunch, whole wheat pasta with homemade tomato sauce. For late night snack with the movie, popcorn (no butter) with peanut M&M’s. Ughhh! I feel fat, tired and horrible today. It just feels hopeless. For every accomplishment or victory I have, it seems like I have to do something to sabotage it. Yesterday I ran longer than I have ever run, but then look how I ate. I thought about buying your detox program that would give me more support and tell me what to eat, but I just can’t afford it! (sigh!)

I am so sorry to be rambling on. I’m just so down. I came to your blog today to try and pick myself up by reading the different entries and some of the testimonies. I don’t feel better. I feel worse. I’m reminded of how much I have been messing up and that I’m too far out from the time everybody else has started this detox. It’s also discouraging to see how so many people are doing so well and I’m not.

The reason why I am writing to you and asking you for help is because I believe so strongly in what you are doing. Again, I have read TONS of books and blogs on raw eating, healthy eating, green living, etc. Probably the same ones you have read. The tone of your blog is different. It’s very catchy and uplifting. Not preachy or wordy. Your personality shines through your writing and it’s very invigorating. I want so badly to be a success story on your blog and even help others along the way. It’s funny, so many of my friends come to me for advice on what they should eat or what they should give their kids to eat. It’s a whole lot easier to tell someone how to live their life than to tell yourself. I am hoping and praying you can give me the advice or direction I am needing.

Again, thank you SO MUCH for taking the time to read this email. Bless you!

M/G

First of all, I REALLY appreciate letters like this. Testimonials and glowing reports are great to boost my confidence, but letters like these where someone has the courage to come out of their cooked food closet and ASK FOR HELP are even more valuable to me. They remind me why I’m doing this in the first place and what we’ve done to try and set ourselves apart a bit.

Most people put up a customer service wall of fire to prevent intimacy and involvement. Profit is the priority at the expense of any emotional connection with the clients. Obviously, we can’t build a business here where one person takes responsibility for the emotional well-being of the community, but we can build a community where the INDIVIDUALS within the community are inspired to take responsibility for each other.

That’s what we’re trying to do here. Another e-book is NOT the answer to your prayers, but having someone else who believes in you and supports you may very well be the solution we’re looking for.

Life deals a hard blow and some of us struggle more than others to get our ducks in a row. But, but, but, but, buuuuuuuuut… (and you can quote me on this one!)

More than another ebook, more than another miracle supplement or visit with the stethescope, more than another  you need someone else who believes in you!

And now you’ve got one.

Actually, thousands if you just log into the Powder Room and start making friends. There are other women just like you all around the world and they need you as much as you need them.

I’ve seen people overcome all kinds of difficult situations. I know that solutions exist and that there is a way out of the hole you’re in, no matter how deep it feels. But read this and remember it:

THE ONLY WAY OUT IS THROUGH!

You have to START. You have to pick yourself up where you are RIGHT NOW. It doesn’t matter if it’s day 13 or day 49. It’s TODAY! Start! Make this happen. Make it your day.

I had a lousy morning, ate too early, ate too much… but blah blah blah… I decided to get my @$*( together and grabbed a tall glass of H2O at noon.

Here’s are my best suggestions for how to get out of a Funk once you’re in it.

5 Simple Steps For Coming Out of the Cooked Food Closet

1. Start Your Day With Water

No matter how poorly you ate the day before, tomorrow is a new day. Make it the day to start fresh. Start your day with a tall glass of water and DO NOT EAT ANYTHING until you are TRULY HUNGRY! The sad thing is that most people do not know how to identify real hunger.

2. Learn How To Identify Real Hunger and Eat When Really Hungry

One of the things I think people misunderstand the most is the most basic concept of all:

Hunger.

They mistake all manner of grumbling stomachs and general irritation for the real thing.

Hunger pulls.

Hunger persists.

Hunger salivates.

Hunger isn’t fussy or choosy.

If you think that something “doesn’t sound good” then consider the possibility that you’re not really hungry. You should care less how your food sounds and more that there’s food at all. These other things you’re feeling can be detox symptoms. Irritability

3. Find Yourself An Accountability Partner

Make a public statement on the blog, if you must. I offer you THIS SPACE to declare to the world your intention to make things go right. You can leave a comment, but you can also find a buddy on the Powder Room, too. What about a neighbor, a friend, a co-worker. It doesn’t matter WHO it matters THAT you find someone to support you and encourage you in your process.

4. Make Change on a Gradient

Depending on where you’re at and how you’re coping with things, you need to understand that TAKING THINGS ON A GRADIENT IS VERY IMPORTANT. If you keep setting yourself ultimatums and then crashing on them, something’s not working. If things feel out of control, find some part of your situation that you can control and control it.

Maybe you’ll just eat ONE piece of pizza instead of THREE.

Maybe you’ll stop eating after 9:00pm instead of midnight.

Find the gradient, whatever it is, and START THERE! Start somewhere, but START for Heaven’s sake, because as I said it before, THE ONLY WAY OUT IS THROUGH!

5. Persist and Thrive In Spite of All The Obstacles Against You

You can do this, but persist. Get your boots back on, Babe, and DECIDE that you really want this. The barriers you perceive are only there because you CHOOSE for them to be barriers. Get over it! Get up! We need you on the team. Have you noticed how many sick, struggling people there are out there that haven’t even figured out yet that there IS a relationship between their food and their health.

WE NEED YOU!

Listen, I don’t like being a loud-mouthed “coach” but when your kid is running in front of a truck, you don’t whisper to them to come back to the side walk. Sometimes love does need a hard hard. A wake-up call. If you are engaging in self-destructive behavior then THIS IS YOUR WAKE UP CALL!

Get on board. Read the blog posts until today and get started.

It’s not just what you think, it’s also what you DO! Stand up, Woman, and get your life back!

Don’t worry, Chica! Even when I am a bit harsh, I still loooove you like glue, my little Sparkle Puff!!

Tera

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