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The Roller Coaster Ride

Posted Oct 15 2009 10:04pm

I have been on a blogger hiatus. I have not written anything or visited any blogs. I have been working on a very long lesson plan for one of my classes.

I am still on the patch. I have one on right now on my left arm. Overall, it has been a positive experience.

Initially, it would make me feel a little nauseous when I first put it on and my right arms would hurt a little.

I think I discovered its benefit though. The pull of addiction I think its the ups and downs of it. You get caught up in that roller coaster ride and can't or don't want to get off. I think it is in part the ride that you are addicted to.

With the patch you get a steady supply of nicotine so there are not those ups and downs. This I think is really helpful, and which is why I don't think I would be successful with nicotine gum. Seems to me with that choice there is still the ups and downs and cravings which you relieve with the gum. It would be easy to just end up addicted to the gum. And with gum there is still that possible oral fixation component.

So if used correctly, I think the patch is a good tool. However, I did not use it correctly this past weekend. I got lazy with it. Too confident. And I thought it would be a good idea to take it off while I slept, and then in the morning I did not put in on right away. Sunday, I felt a rising sense of irritation, and Monday morning when I waited even a longer time (because my box was out in the car) I ended up in a yelling rage, and the anger I felt....

I left the house and immediately felt relief. I had felt trapped inside our walls with my anger, and the outside world always helps.

In the car, I put on the patch and by the time I got to our destination which was Papa Ginos (about ten or fifteen minutes) - I was standing in line to order and I felt a rush. It was the nicotine kicking in.

So when are taking the patch and getting a constant steady supply of nicotine, it is easy to forget it is addicting, and easy to get over confident and not diligent.

Monday was a reminder for me that Nicotine is a drug. An addictive Drug.

So I am back to being diligent with using the patch as directed so I receive what I am most grateful for: the break from not thinking about smoking cigarettes so much - hopefully breaking my psychological addiction.

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