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Hanging In There...

Posted Aug 25 2008 6:24pm

In a couple hours, I will have made it through my fifth day without a cigarette! Obviously, a week is a big milestone, but I'm pretty amazed at the six days. The last couple especially...

I woke up feeling great today and went for a walk in the woods with a friend of mine. However, after running a couple errands, I was starting to feel a bit tired and down. Not depressed, just in a little funk. I think I underestimated the mental energy I exerted yesterday up in Portland.

This afternoon, Ryan and I decided not to brew. We were getting a later start than we expected and he had a commitment tonight. After hanging out a while, I came home and crashed. What a nap! Two hours of power sleep. I needed it. Before I took a nap, I was feeling a bit listless and I had some powerful thoughts about having a cigarette. I know I'll be having these "thoughts" for a while. And they're not intense cravings for a smoke. They're more like these aggravating stones in the shoe. Over the past two days, I have noticed that (like before hitting BK) when I'm hungry, those little stones seem much bigger. A few moments ago, I had a quick bite and immediately, the thought of smoking is sated.

Also, these smoking thoughts I have seem to be centered less on me having a single smoke, but are like these mini funks that pop up when my brain seems to realize that there might be some permanence to this nicotine-free state. Odd.

I've been spending a lot of time on this forum . It's a lot like what I'm doing. People post their quitting stories. While I'm a lurker there and can't add anything to the discussions, it's interesting to find a recent quitting diary entry from someone who quit a good bit before me, like a couple weeks to a month. There are a few people who first posted over a year ago and have kept making semi-regular entries. All of these make for some encouraging reading. Just when I start feeling like my experiences heading towards the first week are special and unique, you realize that others have gone through exactly what I'm going through and they forged ahead. So, my little funk is not unusual! And if these people got through it, I certainly can!

My stats, so far..? 98 cigarettes not smoked and $31 saved. That big 100 is a trippy number to see!

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