When our children show up and we are 35...37….40…...
Posted Aug 07 2009 7:15pm
“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him. Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand.” Psalm 127: 3 & 4
I want to consider this part two to my last post “Our son showed up right on time.”
Due to infertility, many of us find that we are forced to become parents much later in our lives than we would have liked. Having a child is of course a very happy moment for all and more so for those who had to beat the beast of infertility. My husband and I were ecstatic, to say the least, when our little fellow showed up.
Then reality starts to kick in and we realize that there are certain challenges accompanying this little bundle of joy. We later find that it is not easy trying to keep up with them, because let’s face it we are not twenty-five or even thirty, we are ten years and counting older. Believe me, I am having those moments now because or son in so active. At church on Sunday, he made a dash for the gate and the road, I had to actually push him hoping he would tumble a bit and slow down so that I could grab him before he was through the gate and even with that strategy, he still got up and was still heading for the road. I managed to stop him, thankfully, but almost at the expense of my ankle, (but I was not even bothered by that because my ankle can be fixed but our son cannot be replaced). Someone who was watching the whole scene played out asked, ‘where in the world did he get that speed.’ It was truly a terrifying moment. I know many of you maybe fit because you lead a healthy lifestyle so you should not have any problem keeping up with your active child, but then there are others of us who find that we are not at all that lucky. I told myself that since I cannot afford to go to the gym, my son is my home gym.
The other thing is, soon we find that we are doing the maths. Let’s see when our son in eighteen, we will be this old, when our son is twenty-five, oh my, we will be that old and panic starts to set in. Will we even be alive to attend is wedding or see our grandchildren. The other day my husband and I were talking and I said to him, honey, because of this age factor thing, we will just have to make sure that our son gets into college early so that he can graduate and still have time to find is bride-to-be so that we can attend his wedding before we die and see our grandchildren. I know there are parents who are anxious for their children to get married and give them grandchildren, and I am seeing where we could be such parents, given our circumstances.
There is also another factor which we are currently facing now, where all our peers and family members had their children way before us and now they are grown and that leaves our son not much choice of children in his age group to play with.
I hope I am not scaring anyone and I am certainly not discounting what I said in my last post, that these kids do show up on time and so God who is all knowing, sends them to us because he knows he will equip us to deal with them. This equipping then includes the fact that he quickly reveals to us what we are dealing with so that we can prepare accordingly. My husband obviously was not prepared for such an active child because on many occasions, I have to rescue our son left in his care, as he gets overwhelmed by the pressure and falls asleep. I myself, at several points in the day do feel overwhelmed and actually can’t wait for the time when he takes his nap.
Have in mind also that you might want to give your child a sibling and with age already not on your side, you will have to do this sooner than later, if you can, so that if all else fails, your child will have their own little sibling to play with. This too will take the pressure off you from having to be his playmate, and lastly, that you might end up being among the oldest parents at the soccer games and dance recitals. When I realized that the years were passing by and my child was not showing up, I was a bit concerned that when they do show up, my husband and I will be among the oldest parents at their school events.
Regardless of all the above, I am eternally grateful for my son and I know you who have been blessed already are and those still to be blessed with children will be too, when they show up. Even if our son’s friends ask him at some point, how comes your parents look so old, I believe we will still be alright with that and hoping that he will be alright with it too, because children do get affected by things which are not deemed the norm in their little worlds (We are not the least bit concerned about that though, because we actually look half our age, so chances are we won’t have to deal with that, thank goodness for good genes).
In closing I want to add my words of encouragement as usual, do not be too concerned yet with what is contained in this post, just press on to your goal for now, a wonderful experience awaits you, one with challenges of course like anything else in life, but the joy outweighs the challenges by far and take comfort in the fact that God sends these little ones to us because he knows we can handle taking care of them, believe me, I am taking comfort in that too.