When and Why

When Tony and I first started trying to have a child, we debated the wisdom of making it public information. He is a very open person and thought that sharing would be good. I was not sure how long it would take to get pregnant, so I wanted to keep it a secret. To date, we have told five people: Shortly after we started trying, we told a friend of mine and her husband who decided to start trying on the same evening that we did. They gave birth to a healthy baby boy last week. Late last year, I told a professor in the law school after having a breakdown in her office. A couple of weeks ago, after we made the first doctor's appointment, I told my parents. I needed love; I needed support; I needed prayer.

It is with much trepidation that I begin expanding the circle of who knows this information. I don't know how much longer success will take; and I'm not sure I can handle being quizzed by others. But Tony has been ready to share for a long time. And, the truth is, we already are quizzed, nearly daily, about when we are going to have a baby. We are running out of creative responses. The truth is we'll have a baby as soon as our bodies cooperate. Doctor's expect couples in our position to be pregnant within a year of trying. We have crossed that threshold and, armed with my medical history, my doctor considers us infertile.

This blog is a diary so that I can vent and record my journey. When God gives us our first child, I want to remember this stage of our lives. I want to remember being stressed, depressed, and angry, so that we will appreciate our children that much more. Welcome to our story.

-- Mya