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What Could've Been

Posted Sep 12 2008 10:45am

Today, it is beautiful outside. It is partly cloudy - 83 degrees. I'm stuck in the office and I'm stuck in the past. I still live my life in weekly increments. Although I'm trying harder to live day to day and take one thing at a time, I'm failing miserably.

Today would've been 13 weeks. The magical start of the second trimester, when all your fears fade away. That is what could've been. That is what should've been. But yet it isn't. Needless to say, I'm a bit depressed today. And on top of that, I can't figure out how to unsubscribe from the weekly baby development email blasts that greet me every Friday morning. What a lovely reminder.

My FIL is getting remarried tomorrow. DH and I are both in the wedding but thankfully, it is semiformal so I won't have to get too dolled up. I am hoping it won't be too painful for me to see all the happy families, especially my niece and nephew. I love them so much but it hurts me so badly to know that each month that goes by is another month away from having a cousin "close in age".

Since I probably won't be back until Sunday, I wanted to leave a little nugget behind for all my IF sisters. Some of you have probably already seen this but for those of you who haven't, I think you should watch this beautiful video by Kellie Coffey.


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