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We Have a Heartbeat

Posted Oct 22 2008 4:51pm

The ultrasound yesterday showed a 8w5d baby (I was 8w2d) with a heart rate of 169. Just one baby, with no hemorrhages or anything else unpleasant.

Todays appointment was boring. The doctor went over my blood work - everything good and did a pap smear. I had forgotten how much pap smears suck. I swore I was bleeding the whole way home. Luckily, I was wrong. Still, my cervix did not enjoy the attention. BP is normal (122/81) and I'm not quite sure why, but I got felt up again. Apparently, my boobs are doing fine.

The doctor said I would come back in 4 weeks (2/27) and at that appointment we will decide when to stop using the progesterone. The doctor seems to think this one is sticking because she already set the date for my Rhogam shot (6/21 or something), and they've never looked that far into the future before.

I have a ultrasound picture that I would love to post here, but alas, I don't own a scanner. My dad does though, so I'm going to try to finagle that in the future. The picture shows an almost gone yolk sac behind a baby with very long legs. It's all stretched out so it looks big. I suppose anything healthy would look big to me though. We've had previous ultrasounds at this point before but never with a baby that was still alive.

The husband is excited. He believes this ultrasound gives him the green light to look towards the future. The ultrasound did calm me a bit, but only for a few hours until I remembered that I'm only 9 weeks and the 2nd trimester is still very far away. I think the husband is disappointed that I'm not more, well, happy. He thinks I'm excited but I'm hiding it or something. I'm honestly not.

The healthy ultrasound was a huge shock. I was expecting the worst, and seeing a baby so big with a heart beating so fast, I wasn't sure what to do with myself. I'm a baby addict. Or at least I was before recurrent miscarriage scarred me. I'm one of those people who play with baby names even before they want to become pregnant. I love looking through babies r us and picking out all the things I want in the future. A part of me desperately wants to start doing those things again. The other part tells me I'm just setting myself up for an even greater disappointment. That part is winning, so I'm still staying clear of all things baby-related.

Except of course, the fetal doppler. Now that we know the baby does have a heartbeat, I want to order one. My parents ordered me one for my birthday, but had to send it back when I had the second miscarried on my birthday. That's why I have an iPod instead. I want to rent the digital one since it will tell me the heart rate and the husband agrees. The problem lies in that it's $45 a month to rent and we don't have much money, but we'll work it into the bills somehow. I'll only need it for about 8 weeks or so until I can feel movement, so in theory it should cost less than $100 and the shipping is free. And it will keep me sane for the next 4 weeks until my appointment, if I manage to get it to work properly. If I order it tomorrow, I should get it by next Thursday, the latest. I'll be 10 weeks then and the website says they begin working between 8 and 10 weeks.

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