Rixa's post, Vision of Unity, has gotten me thinking.... I had been thinking a lot about this subject lately, but it was Rixa's post that nudged my reflections in a more personal direction. In my community, a midwife was "turned in" by another midwife (I am not going to discuss any details of the story) and the incident provoked much thought on how midwives handle their disagreements with other midwives and the negative energy in midwifery communities. Birth is such an awesome, loving, empowering experience, where is there room for negativity among midwives, guardians of the sacredness of birth? I have been surprised at the anger that has tried to creep in as a result of the above event, but that anger was a waste of energy. Better that I practice yoga and send good energy to all of the midwives in my community.
But back to Rixa's post, I think that those of us who have had a difficult first birth followed by an ecstatic birth can easily assume that another mom with a birth experience similar to our difficult birth experience must of course be longing for an ecstatic birth and it is up to us to "save them" from a repeat of that experience in future births. In our efforts to inform we might miss the fact that the mom in question did not view her birth as a "difficult" birth. And if you are a person who has just a bit too much passion, like myself, you might at times cross the line between gently encouraging women to educate themselves about normal birth and, in frustration, scaring them into better birth (which of course doesn't work). Hence the "two best friends die after cesareans" slant. Although there has always been only the greatest love and the best of intentions behind my posts (both on my blog and on my neighborhood news group), I realize that I need to work on my use of hyperbole and when presenting posts that clearly show support for my call to gentle birth, I must take care to inform and not use scare tactics. This is an empowering birth blog, after all, and you can't force empowerment.
I think this third pregnancy is helping me to temper my passion. Why? Because for the first time I am afforded the luxury of simply being pregnant, and that has had a calming effect on me, especially as I settle firmly into my second trimester (finally the unending nausea is behind me, the relentless exhaustion a thing of the past). I am 23 weeks pregnant, oh joy! Thanks Rixa for your beautiful post. For a second I had the thought to go back and amend past blog posts, but that would be a bit silly and would be changing my history in a sense. I will in the future remember the goal of a Vision of Unity. Controlled anger, anger that leads to positive action, will at times have a roll in this journey, anger can be a great catalyst for change, but it should never outshine love.
As posted on Rixa's Site:
VISION of UNITY by Jeannine Parvati Baker
Like many of us, I have been praying with my ears, listening to midwives all around the world. How can we (wo)manifest the vision of unity that would serve families? Meditating upon the divisions between birth attendants, a vision came to me. I saw a circle wherein the tribes called to heal the Earth by healing birth sat together. It was a medicine wheel, with all styles of midwifery and obstetrics represented. Across the wheel from me sat a medical doctor. To each of my sides were medwives and CNM's, seated across from one another. We defined the cardinal points in the wheel, but were not the whole circle. From where I sat, I could see directly what was behind the doctor, and visa versa. To either side I had an oblique angle to view my sister medwives and CNM's. Then I realized why we needed one another. It is to keep us honest. I can see what is the shadow of obstetrics, as the good doctor can see the shadow freebirth casts. Nurses and medwives add to the bigger picture across the wheel from one another. No one can turn around and see ones own shadow alone. This is how we serve one another. All of us who attend birth are holograms in this circle of life. Each has the whole truth about birth within. When we bring our versions of the truth together, there is a finer resolution and multi-dimensional viewing into the great round of being. In my vision, we are sitting in birth's circle, representing our various tribes. Not my circle, not yours, but birth's circle. Each tribe, each perspective, is precious to birth. Together the living oracle will be voiced through all of us. Let it be the voice of what the Earth needs through each of us. Remembering this always: What we do to one, we do to all.