Next week we are going on vacation with about 30 of my closest relatives. Which, in theory, sounds like a lot of free babysitters fun, right? Although I am beyond excited about the change of scenery and the chance to catch up, I'm a little nervous about how my Bunch will weather the trip. "Vacation" is another one of those destinations that always seems to play out better in fantasy than reality for Baby Bunchers.
With my two oldest two approaching the elementary school years, it's been awhile since we've traveled with a baby, which adds a whole 'nother dimension. The newest addition to our crew has traveled once - to Houston back in March. He did ok on the flight but managed to contract some sort of viral nonsense that caused him to spike 106 degree upon landing in Texas. One trip to urgent care, one trip to the family doctor and 6 gallons of alternating doses of Tylenol and Motrin later, and he recovered just in time for us to board the plane to head home. Needless to say, I am not chomping at the bit to see how well HE travels again, but we're gonna suck it up and give it another go.
A few weeks ago, my aunt informed me that the group had graciously decided to allow the people in my generation with kids to get first pick of bedrooms in our super-sized lodge, which sleeps 40 people and has some obscene number of bedrooms. You would think that with all those choices for sleeping configurations, there would be a room that fits my Bunch, no?
And yet, we have all these mandates that make us "difficult to place", such as:
Big boys can sleep in the same room as each other, but not the baby because they will wake him up.
Big boys can't sleep in a room that overlooks a balcony because they will probably bust out and jump.
Big boys can't sleep in a room near the hot tub because they will probably bust out and go for a midnight swim.
Baby can't be too near the main floor or the basement, because noise level will keep him awake.
Middle boy requires either his own twin bed or a California King if he is sleeping with someone else because he does karate while he sleeps and has feet like Edward Scissorhands.
Big boys don't have to sleep in my room necessarily, but they have to sleep with an adult because they will probably bust out.
We can't be too close to anyone else because Baby will likely wake up at least once in the night and again at the crack of dawn.
But don't worry - Baby can sleep in a closet or spare bathroom if needed.
I'm pretty sure that we're gonna end up in a tent in the backyard because of all our BS.
My point here is that Baby Bunchers have unique considerations when it comes to lodging because they can't risk A) their kids waking each other up, B) their kids waking other people up, C) other people waking their kids up.
As we all know, the Baby Bunching machine is a finely oiled one, and it typically doesn't allow for sleep cycles to stray off course. Sleep deprivation + Baby Bunch = nuclear meltdown. So what's the easiest way to manage your Bunch on vacation?