Donors, this is for you. If you have been chosen as a donor, chances are you are booked for multiple doctor's appointments, are on a range of medications to be taken with specific instructions, and are being asked to refrain from sexual activity and are keeping away from smoking environments. We understand that this can be difficult and frustrating.
We understand that you may think that one little mistake isn't going to be a big deal. What you need to understand is that…well, it is a big deal. You are working on this process for 6-8 weeks; your schedule is hectic, filled with last-minute flights and appointments that we're expecting you to get to on time with little notice.
Our expectations of you seem very high, and they are. We are counting on you to be mature enough to stick with the schedule. Here's why:
The intended parents you are working with have most likely been dealing with this process for YEARS. They have most likely multiple times, and failed, to get pregnant using their own eggs. It is a big step, a scary and often disheartening step at first, to choose a donor unrelated to their own family. Intended mothers and fathers are likely undergoing fertility treatments of their own, which, let's be honest, can often cause emotions to run high. Not to mention that the fear of failure is very, very stressful. It's understandable. These parents want everything to run smoothly.
Sometimes things don't. Sometimes, things outside of our control happen. But we ask that you do everything in your power to make this process as easy for intended parents as possible. For you, it's a compensation and 6-8 weeks of inconvenience and some discomfort ; for them, this is the last leg in a very long, strenuous journey toward the ultimate goal: parenthood.
So we ask you, please be on time to appointments. Please don't cancel them, or worse, miss them without prior notice. Please be honest about medical issues or scheduling issues you may have. Please try to be flexible regarding changes in scheduling. Please be organized. Please take your medications.
We are here to support you during this process: we obviously want to hear any frustrations or issues you may be having. But we ask that you try to take a step back and view the process from the other side first.
You are helping to give the ultimate gift; your generosity is overwhelming. Now all we ask is that you give this gift with as much grace and ease as possible, that way, a successful cycle is more likely to happen quickly and efficiently, ultimately making both sides of the equation happy.