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Traditional Surrogate: Wonderful Gift = Huge Commitment

Posted Nov 17 2010 11:00am

MTN024 Traditional Surrogacy is a wonderful gift. One that involves even a bigger commitment then being a Gestational Carrier. Not only are you agreeing to be an egg donor you are carrying that fetus to birth and then giving your own biological child to another couple to raise and love. Not many can do that, including myself, without having second thoughts along the way. It is so important to have ongoing psychological support throughout the entire surrogacy especially in this case. I know several Traditional Surrogates who have lied to their own extended families about what type of surrogate they were. They would claim to be Gestational Carrier so that they wouldn't hear the arguments against giving up their mother's "grandchild' or being told how horrible they were for giving their own flesh and blood away to strangers. Who wants that pressure? they ask. The Traditional Surrogates that were open about it usually have planned a close relationship with the intended parents including full disclosure 'when the time comes', visits between the two families, and ongoing e-mail and phone contact. Sometimes that does work out and other times they are disappointed.

There are quite a few agency's that stay far away from representing the Traditional Surrogacy arrangement. Some because it falls under the adoption law in their state and they do not have an adoption agency licence. Others because the TS can change her mind after the birth (just as any birth mother can)  and they don't want that possibility to happen on their watch. Although an agency can not make any guarantees, they still have stringent guidelines and requirements that helps to reassure all parties that the protocols are being followed and all parties are give added support and understanding of this delicate situation.   
My best advice is don't go through a traditional surrogacy alone. Have someone by your side that can assist in guiding everyone through the process. There are several Surrogacy Consultants and psychologists that are well qualified in leading the way to a very successful surrogacy arrangement.
Sharon is the Owner of LaMothe Services, LLC , an Assisted Reproductive Technology business solutions service. Sharon LaMothe has the pleasure of educating Intended Parents through support group appearances and speaking to many professional organizations such as RESOLVE, American Fertility Association, SMART ART, Fertile Dreams, and the American Association of Tissue Banks to name a few. Sharon currently guides couples and singles who need more information regarding their Third Party Family Options
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