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This is what I'm talking about

Posted Aug 19 2009 6:31pm
Last night started out rather civilized. My parents-in-law were over, each holding a baby for a few hours. Liana was actually sleeping pretty well, Amaya was being her fussy self - but as long as she had someone tending to her full-time, it didn't get out of control.
Until Bjorn's parents left and it was time to feed again that is. Then, it deteriorated very quickly. I could already tell when I was setting Amaya down in the swing to feed Liana that I was in trouble. So I sat on the floor in front of the swing with my nursing pillow and Liana, trying to stay close to Amaya and any impending trouble. I talked and sang to her, kept offering the pacifier and rubbed her legs. That lasted for about 5 minutes. Then the screaming started. Liana hadn't been eating a lot all day and was finally nursing well, so I was trying to keep nursing her while keeping Amaya from going into a total screaming frenzy, and as you will be able to tell below, I did not succeed. At some point, I was wondering if she was having a seizure, her crying was so out of control. I'd pick her up for a little bit to calm her down, but as soon as I sat her down again, she'd pick up right were she left.

Since she had worked herself into such a frenzy, when it was her turn to eat, she had a pretty strong urge to nurse, too - and kept going unusually long. That, in turn, mad her sister mad, who I had put in the bouncy seat and this time I was sitting in from of that on the floor, nursing Amaya and trying to console Liana. Bottom-line: Within an hour of my in-laws leaving, I had two absolutely hysterical children.
I cannot describe to you how frustrating and awful that is for me. It just makes me sick to my stomach to know that my babies are crying like that and I can't figure out a way to help them. Talk about feeling like a total failure as a mother!

Sorry about the bad quality and it being side-ways, it was after midnight and I was nursing a baby while shooting the footage.
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