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The Pennsylvania Debate

Posted Jan 22 2009 6:21pm
I am in need of some advice. After reading this post, please vote in the poll that is under Bo's picture in the left sidebar and/or leave me a comment (email is great too for those of you who don't like your comments to go public :)). Thank you!!

I am suppose to be attending a wedding in Pennsylvania over the 4 th of July. I was friends with the girl in high school (we were on the yearbook staff together) and we worked together at a local photography studio during my college years. We don't talk a lot but she did attend my wedding and several other significant events in my life. (None of which she had to travel more than 2-3 hours for).

Mandy is a bridesmaid in the wedding. The original plan was that Bo and I would drive with Mandy and our photographer friends to the wedding. The drive is approximately 12 hours and we would complete the drive in one day.

When I told my parents and in-laws about this arrangement they spazzed out. My MIL even plotted a surprise birthday party for me thinking that if Mandy knew about that she wouldn't want me to go with her. On our family vacation I was bombarded with questions and comments from all three grandparents. "What is the best thing for Bo?" "How can you expect him to ride 12 hours in a car?" I won't go into all of it here, but pretty much they made me feel like if I take Bo I will be the worst mother on the planet.

On the other hand, when I talk to Mandy about it, she is also upset. She does not want to go alone, which I totally understand. At the same time, I don't think she really understands my "mommy" position. Mandy does have two little sisters (that she is great with!) but her mom did not breastfeed and went back to work two weeks after having them. It's just a different circumstance but the fact is I don't think she understands about 90% of the decisions I am making right now.

To make a very long story short, the way I see it I have three options:
1) Bo and I both go ahead and go to Pennsylvania. This will upset my mom and the in-laws and Bo will have to ride in the car for 12 hours.
2) I go and leave Bo at home. The in-laws have volunteered to come down that weekend to help out. Mike, my mom, and both of Mike's parents would be here to take care of Bo while I go to PA for 4 days. This seems like a good option but I'm worried about my milk supply. I will have to pump exclusively for 4 days and I am afraid of losing some of my supply. I am not sure if it is worth the risk of giving up breastfeeding to go to a wedding for 4 days.
3) Both Bo and I stay home.

The in-laws have mentioned that maybe I could fly out for a shorter period of time. But I'm not sure I want to spend the money to do that and since Mandy will not fly with me it still sends her on a long car ride without a comrade.

I know that I am probably totally over thinking all of this but I really am concerned about what to do. No matter what option I choose I am going to upset multiple people.

** I should probably also mention that my birthday is on the 4 th. If I go, I won't be home for my birthday. This bothers my Mom but she would probably be able to get over it. :)
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