The International Infertility Community and the #RoyalBaby Overload
Posted Jul 23 2013 2:25pm
Guest Post by Kimberly Batten
I’m Canadian. Anyone who has been around me or my blog for more than 5 minutes can figure that out. Being Canadian, we sort of have floor seats to the “Royal Baby Watch”. Technically it should be important to us because this baby will one day become our king (in the non-ruling way).
My mom is what many would call “A Royal’s Buff”. My mom has been completely fascinated with the British Royal Family for as long as I can remember. She recalls stories of the time she got to shake hands with a member of the royal family and how she stayed up all night to watch Diana and Charles get married. She also remembers being awake to watch the news roll in on the crash that took Diana’s life and how she was glued to the TV until after the funeral.
Years of living with this has rubbed off on me. I’m always curious with what’s going on with the British Royals, just a diluted form of my mom. So it’s no surprise that when William and Kate married, mom and I went all out. The wedding started at about 5:30/6am our time so we pulled an all nighter to watch the wedding and all the celebrations surrounding it.
But, during the wedding, I got a little somber. We were fresh into our diagnosis and I was still heavy into my angry infertile stage when I looked at mom and said, “You know what? I’m willing to bet that she will have her first child before I even get pregnant or know what’s going on.” Mom got frustrated me and told me to stop being so hard on myself, you have no idea where you will be at that time. You’ll be wrong, I promise.”
Well, hate to say it, but mom was wrong. Here I am, married almost 4 years, trying for more than 4 years to have a baby and still no closer to treatment options while still trying to get my thyroid under control. And the royal baby boy is here after a long 9 months of Royal Baby Watch.
For as much as I’ve followed all things royal for years, this is one I haven’t followed. I guess its understandable why. After the wedding, I took a royal hiatus. I was still in my bitter and angry phase of our infertility journey and I knew I just couldn’t handle the announcement if it came quickly after the wedding. The truth is, the jealousy is unending when you watch someone get pregnant with little effort. And let’s be honest, the only jobs there are for the new wife of a future king is to look good at public outings and to provide an heir to the throne. Sure, there is more to her life than that, but publicly, these are the big ones. I knew it was going to happen, and when it did, it would be Big news. News outlets sensationalize pregnancy announcements of celebrities, and in this case, royalty.
Then after months of speculation, it was announced. And as happy as I was for the couple, I dreaded the coming months. But I kept my distance. I wouldn’t read about her pregnancy and it was fairly easy to avoid. I had other things to keep me busy. We moved into our house, there was Christmas, I started a new job that I loved. Then I got the call today from my mom who had joined the rest of the world for Royal Baby Watch, to tell me that the baby boy arrived. I waited for the sting to set in, but it never came. I just moved on with my day like it didn’t matter.
I was waiting for the sting, but it wasn’t there. I don’t know if this is good or bad, but its making the coping side of things much easier.
If anyone out there today is finding the onslaught of news coverage surrounding the royal baby too much to handle, you are not alone. Don’t be afraid to walk away from it, hide the stories from your news feed, avoid it if you have to. Take a deep breath, give yourself a few minutes to accept the jealousy, anger and disappointment coursing through you. Then take a few deep breaths and think of something good that’s happened to you today and hold onto that. It doesn’t matter how big or small it it, just find one good thing (no wait for your morning coffee, it was a beautiful day, you bought a new outfit, anything!) and let that guide you through the sting.
If you give your feelings a name and you give yourself time to be ok with not being ok about it, it gives you the ability to move forward. If you do this every time there is a sting, it makes it easier each with each sting. Sure you will still find yourself crying over announcements and you will still have your low days, but it will help with the smaller things.
I’m thinking of all of you today who are still waiting for your turn, just like me.
About the Guest Author, Kimberly Batten:
Kimberly blogs over at If You Don’t Stand For Something. Kimberly and her husband have been trying to conceive their first child since April of 2009. Kimberly and her husband are dealing with male factor (low count) and hyperthyroidism. In her free time, Kimberly is a Brownie Leader with Girl Guides of Canada and spends most of her time crafting, reading or playing board games with her husband and friends.