I gave birth to my first two sons in a birth center with a midwife. This is the birth story of my third baby. We planned a quiet birth at home with a midwife (Karen Carr, CPM) and as unassisted as possible. We wanted our baby to be welcomed by friends and family including Baby's two older brothers, Aidan (3) & John Paul (2).On December 14th at 3:30PM Austin and I left to go to Austin's company Christmas party just hours before labor began.
At the party everyone asked when we were due and we said "tomorrow" and everyone joked I'd go tonight and Martha, the party hostess, said we could give birth in her jacuzzi tub. It was all fun and cute but I really thought I'd go tonight. I kept feeling Braxton-Hicks contractions that were strong and long and just felt like labor was coming. I told Austin my "feeling". He and I hung out for a few hours watching the Ravens game and he drank Jack & cokes and LB shots with his friends while I sat in a chair feeling like I couldn't move except to get up and go to the bathroom and had him bring me lots of food and refills of my OJ & Cran juice drink. :) I drove and we got home at 10:30PM and I went straight to bed as I was exhausted.
At 2:45AM, I awoke with very painful contractions. I tried to rest through them at first but after 15 minutes or so, I realized these were pretty powerful and frequent so I decided to time them. At first I just timed by lifting my head up to see the clock on the cable box after the contraction was over with and I used Austin's Blackberry to record the time and then would fall to sleep between them. I was laying on my right side. Contractions were 3 to 5 minutes apart. At 3:30AM, I switched to my left side for awhile to see if this changed anything but it didn't. The contractions were still strong and consistent. So, I decided to time the length of a few of them to see how long they were. They were 40, 50 and 77 seconds long by my count. I decided this might be it, so I got up to go to the bathroom to see what would happen. I stopped on the floor and did some pelvic rocks to help with my back/hip discomfort I have every night but to also get baby in a good position if this is really it. I got back into the bed on my left side.
By 4AM, contractions went from around 6 minutes apart to 2 minutes apart all around 30 to 40 seconds long and they increased in intensity. The pain was felt all low and in the front. I knew that today was the day!! :) I started to feel the need for heat to deal with the pain and felt hungry and woke Austin up.
I began timing contractions on my laptop using ContractionMaster.com :) 4:06AM
At 4:14AM, I sent a text message to my doula/colleague about contractions and emailed her the notes of the contractions I had logged so far for her to look at. By 4:25AM, contractions were 3 to 6 minutes apart, 30 to 60 seconds long and getting so intense I wanted heat to soothe the pain. I was starting to vocalize during contractions. I remember feeling my baby move and knew then Baby was OK.
By 4:45AM, I began having longer contractions that reached one minute in duration. They were 3 to 5 minutes apart. I called my doula and asked her to come over. It would take her over an hour to get to my house so I wanted her to come now in case things progressed quickly. I decided to get out of bed and go use the bathroom again. During that time up to 4:53AM, I was having contractions on the toilet that were 1 1/2 to 3 minutes apart and 30 to 50 seconds long. I started to get nervous this was going too fast. Austin called Karen, my midwife, to give her the heads up (at least, that's what I intended) but she asked him if I was ready for her and he said yes so before I knew it she was already on her way to our house. (I found out later, he felt better knowing she was coming now!)
At 5AM, I was back in the bed and Austin was downstairs. I didn't know at the time what he was doing but he later told me he woke up with a hangover and the room was spinning so he went downstairs and drank a ton of water. :) I kept timing and contractions were 3 1/2 to over 5 minutes apart and 30 to 55 seconds long.
I used my laptop’s webcam to video myself during a contraction 5:14AM
My two sons were asleep in my bed beside me as I contracted and timed my contractions. 5:25AM
I took a picture of Austin excited and ready for labor day! 5:26AM
I had my first 1 1/2 minute long contraction. 5:45AM
Doula arrived. 6:04AM
Midwife arrived. 6:30AM
Over the next hour, contractions were really starting to space out to 4 to 6 minutes apart and then to 8 minutes apart but staying over a minute long consistently. 6:45AM Karen was my amazing midwife that I was glad returned from her vacation in time to attend my birth!
She came in my room to talk to me and used the fetoscope to listen to the baby's heart rate - perfect! 6:51AM
At this point, contractions were really spaced out and I felt like this may just fizzle out. I told my midwife and doula I wanted to just get some rest and that they could lay down too in our guest bedroom or downstairs until things picked up again. Karen had no problem complying with my request and went to lay down in the guest room. I continued to rest and time contractions with the spacebar without even opening my eyes really for the next hour and my contractions spaced out to 6 minutes and to as much as 10 to 12 minutes apart. They were still well over a minute long and quite painful. At some point, my doula also left us to rest.
At 8:25AM, I stopped timing and just fell asleep. I slept deeply in the bed while Austin also fell asleep in the oversized chair in our bedroom. I woke up sometime after 9AM and eventually made my way downstairs for a change of scenery and to see my boys and eat breakfast. I was laboring downstairs watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse between contractions with Aidan & John Paul.
Karen sat on my sofa watching me labor while Austin made us all breakfast. 9:47AM
I remember at some point getting up to go to the bathroom and my cell phone rang and the timing was perfect for a call from another colleague of mine (she attended my first two births) and see how I was doing and we chatted for a little while. She told me a couple of mine that I taught classes to was also in labor. Good thing they didn’t hire me as their doula. :)
After the call and sitting on the toilet for awhile I went back to the family room sofa. The sofa no longer was comfortable so I switched to hands and knees. 9:53AM
We sat down to eat breakfast - eggs, bacon, toast. I sat on the birth ball but had to lift up during contractions and they were very intense! I could feel the contraction in my bottom and did not like sitting on my bottom when the contraction came. 10:02AM
I was ready to go back upstairs after eating and had several contractions on the way. I couldn't make it up the stairs without pausing and contracting. 10:26AM
I decided to take a shower and use the heat from the water to help deal with the pain of the contractions while Aidan & John Paul played with their train bath tub toys beneath me. During contractions, I had to lean on the wall and focus to get through them as they were quite intense. 10:52AM
My birth assistant Maria arrived and she and Karen sat in our bedroom hanging out at a distance while I labored. I wanted my space unless I needed them and they were very respectful of that request. 10:58AM
When I got out, my doula picked out my hair while I contracted in hands and knees on my bed. 11:25AM
I then went into the bathroom to dry my hair and when I came out, I labored in hands and knees on the floor. At one point, my youngest son, John Paul came out of the shower and brought me his trains and told me they were "wet". He was so cute. 11:41AM
When I was still in the nude walking around my bedroom, my doula snapped a shot of my profile and I got one last belly shot at 40 weeks of pregnancy during labor. A few nights ago, I made a wrap to go around my breasts for labor with a piece of material and my sewing machine. I tied it in the back and used it for the rest of my labor to cover up with. It was perfect! 11:43AM
After drying my hair, I really wanted to put on some make-up so I didn't look so ghostly but I never had the energy to do so. I was getting overwhelmed by the intensity of the labor and decided after the shower and drying my hair to lay down for awhile. 11:47AM
At 12:09PM and over the next hour, Austin started calling my friends who were sent invitations to my homebirth that now was the time and we wanted them to come to our labor and birth. We needed help with the kids at this point because I needed more of Austin's sole attention. I later decided I wanted to get into the tub to labor. I asked for the water to be at 98+ degrees so it would be effective in helping with my pain but I remember getting in and it was lukewarm and not comforting at all. :( I kept telling them I had a thermometer somewhere and we turned the hot water on but it was just not what I needed and I got frustrated. This was one of the things I imagined would be the most relaxing for me but it was quite the opposite. It would have been a great time for my relaxing music on the bathroom counter to be played but that was never done either. In my birth plan (which I only gave a detailed version to my husband and doula), I had made a list of all of the things that relaxed me the most on it and what I wanted done. I'll just have to make sure that is followed through better next time around as the little things can be so very important. Especially quiet. I really just wanted quiet and to be left to deal with my labor alone and with my husband and if I needed anyone else's assistance, I'd ask for it. My "unassisted as possible" birth wasn't exactly as I wanted it in part because I got everyone to my labor too soon. Finally, though, I was left alone with my husband and we were able to labor together just the two of us. :) 12:57PM
In the tub, I knew things were changing and not going as they should. My labor was starting to move into my back. I could also tell by the contraction pattern that something was off with Baby's position because the labor shouldn't be dragging on this long and the contraction pattern shouldn't be so inconsistent. I asked Karen to come in who by the way was great at respecting my wish for an unassisted labor. She came in and we talked and I asked her to see where I was. It was some time after 1PM. It was the first cervical exam I had all pregnancy and labor. Surprisingly, I was 8 cms dilated. I was so relieved and so was Austin! I remember telling my birth assistant, Maria, that I thought this was another compound presentation baby (head and hand coming out together) just like Aidan was. The birth was just too similar in the way I was contracting, the back labor and my gut feeling was so strong. As the back labor got more serious, Austin began applying pressure to my hips to help me cope with the pain. As he worked hard, Karen helped him by putting cool compresses on his head and neck. She was great! 1:52PM
We moved from the bathroom to the bedroom. I wanted to stand and did that for awhile with Austin behind me. As contractions got really intense in my back, Austin began applying hip squeezes to help me cope through the unexpected back pain. At one point, my doula and birth assistant tried to take over doing the pressure squeezes during contractions but they were not as effective as Austin was. I wanted to feel his touch. Just like with Aidan's labor, Austin got quite a work out as my pain was severe and my contractions were long. He was a great labor coach to me always listening and never giving up on me even when I yelled at him if he was too high or too low or not pressing hard enough. :) 2:05PM
I eventually got into the bed and labored on hands and knees. I was in intense and severe pain in my back with each contraction. It was so overwhelming internally I was thinking how can I keep going but my mind kept reminding me there's no way to stop the pain, there's no way to go backwards, that now, I can only go forward and the only thing that will end this back labor is to push my baby out. So I asked for Karen again and asked her what we could do that I was ready to push. At around 2:25pm she checked me and I was 9cms. She said she could break my bag of waters which had not broken yet, not even a little trickle of water yet, so I said OK, "let's do it". At this point I was on my back which I hate more than anything during labor especially during back labor as it makes the pain much more intense and she went in to break my bag with the amnihook and stayed in there for awhile getting out as much of the forewaters as she could to get baby's head down on my cervix and get this back labor closer to ending! I was relieved because the back pain was so severe and all I wanted to do was push.
Karen finished and I got back up to hands and knees and she encouraged me to bear down with my contractions to try to push baby down more with each contraction even though pushing contractions were not there yet at all. I did and 45 minutes or so later, finally, I felt the pushing contractions. I was really pushing at about 3PM. I could finally feel my baby's head moving down the birth canal. I was so relieved because I knew that meant this back pain would end very soon!! Karen got in position behind me and my husband was near the bed but after the kids were brought in to witness the birth by my request, they wanted their daddy so he couldn't be right beside me in the bed or catch the baby like I wanted. A couple of my friends were in the room but not all of them as some were still downstairs and didn't know I wanted them all in the room to view the birth but they weren't invited to come up. :( I prepared a list of those invited to view the birth but no one asked me for it and I was mostly out of it and unable to remind anyone of what I wanted and had my eyes closed most of the time. I was glad at least a couple of my friends, Mary Jo and Chrissy were able to view the birth. I started to push in hands and knees for the next 40 minutes even though there weren't any pushing contractions yet just to do all I could to help baby move down faster and end this severe pain.
Finally at about 3PM or so, I started feeling pushing contractions and I could feel Baby's head moving down my birth canal. I just screamed begging for Baby to "get out of me". :) I was so ready for this back labor to be over with!! 3:03PM
Austin was now holding Aidan at my head while I was in hands and knees pushing with Karen sitting on the bed behind me. 3:08PM
Mary Jo was holding John Paul who just wanted Daddy.Soon Baby's head came out and I felt some relief but then wondered why so much time was passing and the body wasn't coming out even when I pushed again. I asked if the head was out and they said yes and I wanted to know why the body wasn't coming out yet. 3:10PM
Austin ended up holding both boys and standing by my head. 3:11PM
Because the body wasn't coming out yet, my birth assistant, Maria, asked me to put my leg up. Karen had to go up inside to see why her body wasn't coming out yet and found a bit of a "sticky" shoulder. The shoulder was dislodged and Baby's body started coming out. Baby's body is mostly out and Baby's hands are both down (not by the head), so no compound presentation. Baby's body was finally all of the way out. 3:12PM
Karen passed Baby underneath me to my hands immediately as she was coming out. I picked up my baby!!! I got to stare at Baby’s face for the first time while Austin brought the boys over so they could all see Baby up-close.
And 3 minutes after the birth, we finally thought to check to see the sex.
It's a... GIRL!!!!!!
We were cheering!!! Austin's reaction - "Don't have to worry about circumcision!" :) We were both so excited!!! I was in disbelief so I looked again - yup, a girl! Beautiful Baby Girl!!
Austin brought Aidan around to meet his baby sister! We enjoyed the first few minutes together with her and I needed to just rest and catch my breath as my bottom was still very sore from the painful back labor and pushing adventure.
Just minutes old, my baby girl was a vigorous nurser! 3:31PM
It was time for the birth of the placenta. 3:31PM
Austin cut the cord that was no longer pulsating and very white. 3:33PM
My friends who attended the labor and birth posed for quick pictures with me and our Baby Girl – Alyssa, Mary Jo, Laura, Chrissy, Nicole. My colleague who served as my doula snapped a quick picture with me and then left to go home because she had a client in labor at the same time and she knew she’d need the rest. Marialuz, my wonderful birth assistant, also posed for a quick picture. I'm so glad she could make it!!
After the cord was cut, I was free to get up and Karen suggested I soak in an herbal bath to help soothe the pain in my bottom which was quite sore. I took Mary Katherine with me and together we got into the warm water (it was the right temperature!) and enjoyed a bath together. I decided to wash her hair with some baby soap to get the gooey out of it. :) It was a nice time of bonding followed by more nursing! 4:02PM
Aidan came in to see us in the bath and he and I had a long conversation talking about his new baby sister. He touched her toes and ear and gave me a big kiss! And then, GG & Boompa arrived and came in to meet their granddaughter. 4:26PM
GG brought her "It's a girl!" sign for our front yard and we decided it was time to announce the name – Mary Katherine (no middle name decided on yet).Austin held his daughter for the first time. 4:44PM
I got out of the tub and took a quick shower to feel fresh and clean. 4:45PM
Austin enjoyed holding his little girl and wrapped her in a pink blanket. After my herbal bath and shower, I got dressed in my comfy pink PJs and held my baby girl again. 4:54PM
Karen took her so they could do the newborn exam. 4:54PM
Everyone was standing around watching the exam, talking and taking pictures.Karen bundled her up in a blanket and put her on the cloth scale to weigh her. She weighed 7lbs, 14oz (and that's after a major meconium poopy on her parents bed when she was born!) Next, Maria performed the rest of the newborn exam. Mary Katherine didn't like the cold air and missed her Mommy as she cried loudly for a bit. Maria checked out her body, listened to her heart, lungs and bowel sounds, measured her and she was perfect! Karen posed for a picture with me as we waited for my baby to return to my arms. Maria gave her back a few minutes later and I put on her first diaper. 5:02PM
Then, I gave her to Austin so he could let GG (his mother) hold her granddaughter for the first time. 5:03PM
Austin popped a bottle of bubbly and we all toasted our baby girl. 5:07PM
We then went downstairs to eat a large spread of food everyone brought with them. I started out trying to sit at the table on a cushion but my bottom was so sore, I had to move to the sofa instead to eat. 5:20PM
For the last hour or two, Aidan & John Paul were napping. John Paul woke up and came down to see us and Austin reminded him about his baby sister being born. 5:30PM
I finally had a break to call my family to tell them the news - Mother, Dad, my sister-in-law Amber and brother Jay, my sister Joni, Grandmother Byars and Grandmoney. 5:59PM to 6:45PM
Then, Boompa held his granddaughter for the first time as did a few of my friends. 6:30PM
At about 7:30PM, everyone started to leave and I was getting tired and ready for a nap. I snapped a picture of her first to text message to my family and friends.
Her name which was fitting as she was born a week before Christmas…
Mary Katherine
Frances
Groves
Mary (after the Mother of Jesus)
Katherine (after my paternal grandmother)
Frances (after Austin's paternal grandmother who passed away - Feb 2008)
=================================
I loved giving birth at home and I loved my midwife and her gentle ways. She was very hands off which is exactly how I like things. I loved not having to drive anywhere and to do whatever I wanted at any moment during my labor and birth without being told what to do or where to do it. I wasn’t planning to have any cervical exams or my water broken but I enjoyed being able to be the one to decide that I did want those done and I requested it only after labor was in an unusual pattern and quite intense. I didn’t expect to have another back labor. I’ve learned I mentally lose it when labor pain goes into my back. I’m not the same logical thinking person any longer and emotionally I got frightened and it led to me feeling very moody. I started to anticipate the pain of each contraction before it began. Severe back labor certainly is not a pleasant and romantic labor but it still was done on my terms and in my home. And my back labors have only made me become a better doula understanding fully what a woman with a back labor needs, what she doesn’t need and how I can best help her to have the birth she wants. I enjoyed the presence and labor assistance of my husband and I hope to work it out so he can be more involved in the birth aspect and closer to me physically at the time of the birth next time around. I loved that my children could witness the birth of their baby sister. I’m so thankful for all of those present who worked so hard to help me have my homebirth and were there to welcome our little girl into the world.
The next three weeks flew by and we spent our babymoon rushing around for the Christmas holiday and getting everything done that we could get done and our sons both had RSV just days before the baby was born and I eventually got it and so did Mary Katherine and some of those who attended the birth. For me it turned into bronchitis and for my baby girl, my breastmilk antibodies rock because she has done well with home treatment and did not have to be hospitalized since she never had difficulty breathing! Whoohooo!!
Mary Katherine has grown a lot. At my second postpartum visit done by Karen in my home on her first week’s birthday, she had gone from 7lbs, 14oz to 8lbs, 9oz - an 11 oz gain! She’s continued to grow and at 3 weeks she was over 9 ½ lbs gaining 1lb, 11oz since her birth. At 5 months, she was 14 ½ pounds and started crawling at 5 ½ months old.
I found out later that my health insurance actually covered my homebirth, too! Everything simply went perfectly!
Thank you for reading our story! I hope it inspires you and any woman to have the birth you want!
(To read the version with pictures, click here - http://grovestigercubs.blogspot.com/search/label/Mary%20Katherine%20-%20Birth%20 )
I gave birth to my first two sons in a birth center with a midwife. This is the birth story of my third baby. We planned a quiet birth at home with a midwife (Karen Carr, CPM) and as unassisted as possible. We wanted our baby to be welcomed by friends and family including Baby's two older brothers, Aidan (3) & John Paul (2).On December 14th at 3:30PM Austin and I left to go to Austin's company Christmas party just hours before labor began.
At the party everyone asked when we were due and we said "tomorrow" and everyone joked I'd go tonight and Martha, the party hostess, said we could give birth in her jacuzzi tub. It was all fun and cute but I really thought I'd go tonight. I kept feeling Braxton-Hicks contractions that were strong and long and just felt like labor was coming. I told Austin my "feeling". He and I hung out for a few hours watching the Ravens game and he drank Jack & cokes and LB shots with his friends while I sat in a chair feeling like I couldn't move except to get up and go to the bathroom and had him bring me lots of food and refills of my OJ & Cran juice drink. :) I drove and we got home at 10:30PM and I went straight to bed as I was exhausted.
At 2:45AM, I awoke with very painful contractions. I tried to rest through them at first but after 15 minutes or so, I realized these were pretty powerful and frequent so I decided to time them. At first I just timed by lifting my head up to see the clock on the cable box after the contraction was over with and I used Austin's Blackberry to record the time and then would fall to sleep between them. I was laying on my right side. Contractions were 3 to 5 minutes apart. At 3:30AM, I switched to my left side for awhile to see if this changed anything but it didn't. The contractions were still strong and consistent. So, I decided to time the length of a few of them to see how long they were. They were 40, 50 and 77 seconds long by my count. I decided this might be it, so I got up to go to the bathroom to see what would happen. I stopped on the floor and did some pelvic rocks to help with my back/hip discomfort I have every night but to also get baby in a good position if this is really it. I got back into the bed on my left side.
By 4AM, contractions went from around 6 minutes apart to 2 minutes apart all around 30 to 40 seconds long and they increased in intensity. The pain was felt all low and in the front. I knew that today was the day!! :) I started to feel the need for heat to deal with the pain and felt hungry and woke Austin up.
I began timing contractions on my laptop using ContractionMaster.com :) 4:06AM
At 4:14AM, I sent a text message to my doula/colleague about contractions and emailed her the notes of the contractions I had logged so far for her to look at. By 4:25AM, contractions were 3 to 6 minutes apart, 30 to 60 seconds long and getting so intense I wanted heat to soothe the pain. I was starting to vocalize during contractions. I remember feeling my baby move and knew then Baby was OK.
By 4:45AM, I began having longer contractions that reached one minute in duration. They were 3 to 5 minutes apart. I called my doula and asked her to come over. It would take her over an hour to get to my house so I wanted her to come now in case things progressed quickly. I decided to get out of bed and go use the bathroom again. During that time up to 4:53AM, I was having contractions on the toilet that were 1 1/2 to 3 minutes apart and 30 to 50 seconds long. I started to get nervous this was going too fast. Austin called Karen, my midwife, to give her the heads up (at least, that's what I intended) but she asked him if I was ready for her and he said yes so before I knew it she was already on her way to our house. (I found out later, he felt better knowing she was coming now!)
At 5AM, I was back in the bed and Austin was downstairs. I didn't know at the time what he was doing but he later told me he woke up with a hangover and the room was spinning so he went downstairs and drank a ton of water. :) I kept timing and contractions were 3 1/2 to over 5 minutes apart and 30 to 55 seconds long.
I used my laptop’s webcam to video myself during a contraction 5:14AM
My two sons were asleep in my bed beside me as I contracted and timed my contractions. 5:25AM
I took a picture of Austin excited and ready for labor day! 5:26AM
I had my first 1 1/2 minute long contraction. 5:45AM
Doula arrived. 6:04AM
Midwife arrived. 6:30AM
Over the next hour, contractions were really starting to space out to 4 to 6 minutes apart and then to 8 minutes apart but staying over a minute long consistently. 6:45AM Karen was my amazing midwife that I was glad returned from her vacation in time to attend my birth!
She came in my room to talk to me and used the fetoscope to listen to the baby's heart rate - perfect! 6:51AM
At this point, contractions were really spaced out and I felt like this may just fizzle out. I told my midwife and doula I wanted to just get some rest and that they could lay down too in our guest bedroom or downstairs until things picked up again. Karen had no problem complying with my request and went to lay down in the guest room. I continued to rest and time contractions with the spacebar without even opening my eyes really for the next hour and my contractions spaced out to 6 minutes and to as much as 10 to 12 minutes apart. They were still well over a minute long and quite painful. At some point, my doula also left us to rest.
At 8:25AM, I stopped timing and just fell asleep. I slept deeply in the bed while Austin also fell asleep in the oversized chair in our bedroom. I woke up sometime after 9AM and eventually made my way downstairs for a change of scenery and to see my boys and eat breakfast. I was laboring downstairs watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse between contractions with Aidan & John Paul.
Karen sat on my sofa watching me labor while Austin made us all breakfast. 9:47AM
I remember at some point getting up to go to the bathroom and my cell phone rang and the timing was perfect for a call from another colleague of mine (she attended my first two births) and see how I was doing and we chatted for a little while. She told me a couple of mine that I taught classes to was also in labor. Good thing they didn’t hire me as their doula. :)
After the call and sitting on the toilet for awhile I went back to the family room sofa. The sofa no longer was comfortable so I switched to hands and knees. 9:53AM
We sat down to eat breakfast - eggs, bacon, toast. I sat on the birth ball but had to lift up during contractions and they were very intense! I could feel the contraction in my bottom and did not like sitting on my bottom when the contraction came. 10:02AM
I was ready to go back upstairs after eating and had several contractions on the way. I couldn't make it up the stairs without pausing and contracting. 10:26AM
I decided to take a shower and use the heat from the water to help deal with the pain of the contractions while Aidan & John Paul played with their train bath tub toys beneath me. During contractions, I had to lean on the wall and focus to get through them as they were quite intense. 10:52AM
My birth assistant Maria arrived and she and Karen sat in our bedroom hanging out at a distance while I labored. I wanted my space unless I needed them and they were very respectful of that request. 10:58AM
When I got out, my doula picked out my hair while I contracted in hands and knees on my bed. 11:25AM
I then went into the bathroom to dry my hair and when I came out, I labored in hands and knees on the floor. At one point, my youngest son, John Paul came out of the shower and brought me his trains and told me they were "wet". He was so cute. 11:41AM
When I was still in the nude walking around my bedroom, my doula snapped a shot of my profile and I got one last belly shot at 40 weeks of pregnancy during labor. A few nights ago, I made a wrap to go around my breasts for labor with a piece of material and my sewing machine. I tied it in the back and used it for the rest of my labor to cover up with. It was perfect! 11:43AM
After drying my hair, I really wanted to put on some make-up so I didn't look so ghostly but I never had the energy to do so. I was getting overwhelmed by the intensity of the labor and decided after the shower and drying my hair to lay down for awhile. 11:47AM
At 12:09PM and over the next hour, Austin started calling my friends who were sent invitations to my homebirth that now was the time and we wanted them to come to our labor and birth. We needed help with the kids at this point because I needed more of Austin's sole attention. I later decided I wanted to get into the tub to labor. I asked for the water to be at 98+ degrees so it would be effective in helping with my pain but I remember getting in and it was lukewarm and not comforting at all. :( I kept telling them I had a thermometer somewhere and we turned the hot water on but it was just not what I needed and I got frustrated. This was one of the things I imagined would be the most relaxing for me but it was quite the opposite. It would have been a great time for my relaxing music on the bathroom counter to be played but that was never done either. In my birth plan (which I only gave a detailed version to my husband and doula), I had made a list of all of the things that relaxed me the most on it and what I wanted done. I'll just have to make sure that is followed through better next time around as the little things can be so very important. Especially quiet. I really just wanted quiet and to be left to deal with my labor alone and with my husband and if I needed anyone else's assistance, I'd ask for it. My "unassisted as possible" birth wasn't exactly as I wanted it in part because I got everyone to my labor too soon. Finally, though, I was left alone with my husband and we were able to labor together just the two of us. :) 12:57PM
In the tub, I knew things were changing and not going as they should. My labor was starting to move into my back. I could also tell by the contraction pattern that something was off with Baby's position because the labor shouldn't be dragging on this long and the contraction pattern shouldn't be so inconsistent. I asked Karen to come in who by the way was great at respecting my wish for an unassisted labor. She came in and we talked and I asked her to see where I was. It was some time after 1PM. It was the first cervical exam I had all pregnancy and labor. Surprisingly, I was 8 cms dilated. I was so relieved and so was Austin! I remember telling my birth assistant, Maria, that I thought this was another compound presentation baby (head and hand coming out together) just like Aidan was. The birth was just too similar in the way I was contracting, the back labor and my gut feeling was so strong. As the back labor got more serious, Austin began applying pressure to my hips to help me cope with the pain. As he worked hard, Karen helped him by putting cool compresses on his head and neck. She was great! 1:52PM
We moved from the bathroom to the bedroom. I wanted to stand and did that for awhile with Austin behind me. As contractions got really intense in my back, Austin began applying hip squeezes to help me cope through the unexpected back pain. At one point, my doula and birth assistant tried to take over doing the pressure squeezes during contractions but they were not as effective as Austin was. I wanted to feel his touch. Just like with Aidan's labor, Austin got quite a work out as my pain was severe and my contractions were long. He was a great labor coach to me always listening and never giving up on me even when I yelled at him if he was too high or too low or not pressing hard enough. :) 2:05PM
I eventually got into the bed and labored on hands and knees. I was in intense and severe pain in my back with each contraction. It was so overwhelming internally I was thinking how can I keep going but my mind kept reminding me there's no way to stop the pain, there's no way to go backwards, that now, I can only go forward and the only thing that will end this back labor is to push my baby out. So I asked for Karen again and asked her what we could do that I was ready to push. At around 2:25pm she checked me and I was 9cms. She said she could break my bag of waters which had not broken yet, not even a little trickle of water yet, so I said OK, "let's do it". At this point I was on my back which I hate more than anything during labor especially during back labor as it makes the pain much more intense and she went in to break my bag with the amnihook and stayed in there for awhile getting out as much of the forewaters as she could to get baby's head down on my cervix and get this back labor closer to ending! I was relieved because the back pain was so severe and all I wanted to do was push.
Karen finished and I got back up to hands and knees and she encouraged me to bear down with my contractions to try to push baby down more with each contraction even though pushing contractions were not there yet at all. I did and 45 minutes or so later, finally, I felt the pushing contractions. I was really pushing at about 3PM. I could finally feel my baby's head moving down the birth canal. I was so relieved because I knew that meant this back pain would end very soon!! Karen got in position behind me and my husband was near the bed but after the kids were brought in to witness the birth by my request, they wanted their daddy so he couldn't be right beside me in the bed or catch the baby like I wanted. A couple of my friends were in the room but not all of them as some were still downstairs and didn't know I wanted them all in the room to view the birth but they weren't invited to come up. :( I prepared a list of those invited to view the birth but no one asked me for it and I was mostly out of it and unable to remind anyone of what I wanted and had my eyes closed most of the time. I was glad at least a couple of my friends, Mary Jo and Chrissy were able to view the birth. I started to push in hands and knees for the next 40 minutes even though there weren't any pushing contractions yet just to do all I could to help baby move down faster and end this severe pain.
Finally at about 3PM or so, I started feeling pushing contractions and I could feel Baby's head moving down my birth canal. I just screamed begging for Baby to "get out of me". :) I was so ready for this back labor to be over with!! 3:03PM
Austin was now holding Aidan at my head while I was in hands and knees pushing with Karen sitting on the bed behind me. 3:08PM
Mary Jo was holding John Paul who just wanted Daddy.Soon Baby's head came out and I felt some relief but then wondered why so much time was passing and the body wasn't coming out even when I pushed again. I asked if the head was out and they said yes and I wanted to know why the body wasn't coming out yet. 3:10PM
Austin ended up holding both boys and standing by my head. 3:11PM
Because the body wasn't coming out yet, my birth assistant, Maria, asked me to put my leg up. Karen had to go up inside to see why her body wasn't coming out yet and found a bit of a "sticky" shoulder. The shoulder was dislodged and Baby's body started coming out. Baby's body is mostly out and Baby's hands are both down (not by the head), so no compound presentation. Baby's body was finally all of the way out. 3:12PM
Karen passed Baby underneath me to my hands immediately as she was coming out. I picked up my baby!!! I got to stare at Baby’s face for the first time while Austin brought the boys over so they could all see Baby up-close.
And 3 minutes after the birth, we finally thought to check to see the sex.
It's a... GIRL!!!!!!
We were cheering!!! Austin's reaction - "Don't have to worry about circumcision!" :) We were both so excited!!! I was in disbelief so I looked again - yup, a girl! Beautiful Baby Girl!!
Austin brought Aidan around to meet his baby sister! We enjoyed the first few minutes together with her and I needed to just rest and catch my breath as my bottom was still very sore from the painful back labor and pushing adventure.
Just minutes old, my baby girl was a vigorous nurser! 3:31PM
It was time for the birth of the placenta. 3:31PM
Austin cut the cord that was no longer pulsating and very white. 3:33PM
My friends who attended the labor and birth posed for quick pictures with me and our Baby Girl – Alyssa, Mary Jo, Laura, Chrissy, Nicole. My colleague who served as my doula snapped a quick picture with me and then left to go home because she had a client in labor at the same time and she knew she’d need the rest. Marialuz, my wonderful birth assistant, also posed for a quick picture. I'm so glad she could make it!!
After the cord was cut, I was free to get up and Karen suggested I soak in an herbal bath to help soothe the pain in my bottom which was quite sore. I took Mary Katherine with me and together we got into the warm water (it was the right temperature!) and enjoyed a bath together. I decided to wash her hair with some baby soap to get the gooey out of it. :) It was a nice time of bonding followed by more nursing! 4:02PM
Aidan came in to see us in the bath and he and I had a long conversation talking about his new baby sister. He touched her toes and ear and gave me a big kiss! And then, GG & Boompa arrived and came in to meet their granddaughter. 4:26PM
GG brought her "It's a girl!" sign for our front yard and we decided it was time to announce the name – Mary Katherine (no middle name decided on yet).Austin held his daughter for the first time. 4:44PM
I got out of the tub and took a quick shower to feel fresh and clean. 4:45PM
Austin enjoyed holding his little girl and wrapped her in a pink blanket. After my herbal bath and shower, I got dressed in my comfy pink PJs and held my baby girl again. 4:54PM
Karen took her so they could do the newborn exam. 4:54PM
Everyone was standing around watching the exam, talking and taking pictures.Karen bundled her up in a blanket and put her on the cloth scale to weigh her. She weighed 7lbs, 14oz (and that's after a major meconium poopy on her parents bed when she was born!) Next, Maria performed the rest of the newborn exam. Mary Katherine didn't like the cold air and missed her Mommy as she cried loudly for a bit. Maria checked out her body, listened to her heart, lungs and bowel sounds, measured her and she was perfect! Karen posed for a picture with me as we waited for my baby to return to my arms. Maria gave her back a few minutes later and I put on her first diaper. 5:02PM
Then, I gave her to Austin so he could let GG (his mother) hold her granddaughter for the first time. 5:03PM
Austin popped a bottle of bubbly and we all toasted our baby girl. 5:07PM
We then went downstairs to eat a large spread of food everyone brought with them. I started out trying to sit at the table on a cushion but my bottom was so sore, I had to move to the sofa instead to eat. 5:20PM
For the last hour or two, Aidan & John Paul were napping. John Paul woke up and came down to see us and Austin reminded him about his baby sister being born. 5:30PM
I finally had a break to call my family to tell them the news - Mother, Dad, my sister-in-law Amber and brother Jay, my sister Joni, Grandmother Byars and Grandmoney. 5:59PM to 6:45PM
Then, Boompa held his granddaughter for the first time as did a few of my friends. 6:30PM
At about 7:30PM, everyone started to leave and I was getting tired and ready for a nap. I snapped a picture of her first to text message to my family and friends.
Her name which was fitting as she was born a week before Christmas…
Mary Katherine
Frances
Groves
Mary (after the Mother of Jesus)
Katherine (after my paternal grandmother)
Frances (after Austin's paternal grandmother who passed away - Feb 2008)
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I loved giving birth at home and I loved my midwife and her gentle ways. She was very hands off which is exactly how I like things. I loved not having to drive anywhere and to do whatever I wanted at any moment during my labor and birth without being told what to do or where to do it. I wasn’t planning to have any cervical exams or my water broken but I enjoyed being able to be the one to decide that I did want those done and I requested it only after labor was in an unusual pattern and quite intense. I didn’t expect to have another back labor. I’ve learned I mentally lose it when labor pain goes into my back. I’m not the same logical thinking person any longer and emotionally I got frightened and it led to me feeling very moody. I started to anticipate the pain of each contraction before it began. Severe back labor certainly is not a pleasant and romantic labor but it still was done on my terms and in my home. And my back labors have only made me become a better doula understanding fully what a woman with a back labor needs, what she doesn’t need and how I can best help her to have the birth she wants. I enjoyed the presence and labor assistance of my husband and I hope to work it out so he can be more involved in the birth aspect and closer to me physically at the time of the birth next time around. I loved that my children could witness the birth of their baby sister. I’m so thankful for all of those present who worked so hard to help me have my homebirth and were there to welcome our little girl into the world.
The next three weeks flew by and we spent our babymoon rushing around for the Christmas holiday and getting everything done that we could get done and our sons both had RSV just days before the baby was born and I eventually got it and so did Mary Katherine and some of those who attended the birth. For me it turned into bronchitis and for my baby girl, my breastmilk antibodies rock because she has done well with home treatment and did not have to be hospitalized since she never had difficulty breathing! Whoohooo!!
Mary Katherine has grown a lot. At my second postpartum visit done by Karen in my home on her first week’s birthday, she had gone from 7lbs, 14oz to 8lbs, 9oz - an 11 oz gain! She’s continued to grow and at 3 weeks she was over 9 ½ lbs gaining 1lb, 11oz since her birth. At 5 months, she was 14 ½ pounds and started crawling at 5 ½ months old.
I found out later that my health insurance actually covered my homebirth, too! Everything simply went perfectly!
Thank you for reading our story! I hope it inspires you and any woman to have the birth you want!
(To read the version with pictures, click here - http://grovestigercubs.blogspot.com/search/label/Mary%20Katherine%20-%20Birth%20 )