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Talking about the Big Relationship Issues

Posted Aug 24 2008 1:49pm
ANNOUNCER: After two years of marriage, Nadia and Nick find it difficult to talk about relationship issues.

NICK: There's definitely less time to communicate, because things are crazy. Being young, we're trying to build our careers, so there's a lot of work in that aspect of life, and there's less time for us.

NADIA: Things have changed, because we used to talk about family and kids all the time. Now we talk about it less just because we're caught up in so many different things now, and it just happened that way.

ANNOUNCER: They are not alone. According to a recent survey by Harris Interactive, most couples talk least about the things that matter most to them. Family planning and birth control are at the bottom of the list.

LAUREN HOWARD, PSYCHOTHERAPIST: It's much easier to talk about concrete things that are practical and have to do with the activities of daily living, who's taking the dry cleaning in, the car needing repair, than it is to talk about the non-concrete, emotionally laden "How do I feel about this?" issues.

ANNOUNCER: The survey also found that single people are more than twice as likely to talk about family planning and birth control as married people. And keeping mum about family planning can cause trouble in a relationship.

LAUREN HOWARD, PSYCHOTHERAPIST : This is not like what color shirt I should wear. Family planning, relationship issues are critical. They're the center of our lives.

ANNOUNCER: Psychotherapist Lauren Howard recommends that couples set aside time on a regular basis to talk about the important issues. That's what Nick and Nadia are trying to do.

NADIA: We actually decided a couple months ago that we're going to have a date night every week, kind of like when we were in college. There's no Blackberries, there's no work, that if we need to discuss something, thats when we're going to discuss it.

ANNOUNCER: Their talks have led them to come to decision about kids.

NADIA: We've pretty much decided we're going to wait to get a little more established in our careers

ANNOUNCER: Thanks for joining us on today's Once Daily.

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