Surrogate Dad's: To the men who support the Surrogate Mothers
Posted Oct 21 2008 12:20am
Ok ok...so maybe "Surrogate Dad" isn't the right title for the role of the man in the life of a woman who wants to be, (is, or was) a surrogate. BUT he plays an important, if not understated, role in the entire journey. From the start he must get his mind wrapped around the fact that HIS woman wants to carry another man's child. The same woman who may have stated "That's IT! We are NOT having any MORE KIDS!!" (this often happens when 2 kids under the age of 4 are hanging on her legs screaming for a snack and the one in her arms is spitting up formula) Once he understands that her statement perhaps meant that she doesn't want to raise any more kids but carrying one for 9 months is fine, then he may relax a little...until he finds out that HE needs to be psychologically tested...and tested for STD's (how long IS that cotton swap for a Chlamydia test?) AND sign a contract agreeing to all sorts of things that he wouldn't normally think about..(allowing IP's to put HIS partner on life support if necessary?) He may not realize that all though he agreed to support his wife/significant other in her quest to be a surrogate that HE may have to step in when the IP's call when she isn't feeling well, that HE will have to take care of their kids when she is on bed rest or at appointments, that HE will have to give multitude of shots loaded with hormones that turn HER into a Witch (whom he has to actually live with!), that HE will have to miss work when she is in the hospital, that HE will have to hold her when she is sick, tired, scared, crying, that he can't have any sexual intercourse (for HOW long??)...all because of this surrogacy that SHE wanted to do! Ahhh the unsung heroes!
Intended parents out there....Intended DAD's especially, should step up NOW and thank the God above for these men who are the main support of your wonderful surrogate mother. Without them, these surrogate mom's may end up on YOUR door step at 2 am for ice cream and pickles and a foot rub....or just to complain!
PS: I know and appreciate all of the significant others that single surrogate mothers rely on: Partners, mothers, fathers, girl friends, guy friends...all are so important to surround yourself with...but because I am married...I wanted to send a shout out to husbands and the men who actually LIVE with a surrogate and put up with all the BS...especially mine...Joe, You Are The Best!