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Spinning Head

Posted Apr 09 2009 7:07pm
I never thought we would get here. The contracts should be ready for review by Thursday!! I know it blew my mind too. With every step that we take this becomes more real to me. it is not that all this was not real, it is that I never really let myself truly feel like we were ever going to be parents. Sure I always knew that this is where we were heading, but I just never really believed that we were going to get anywhere close.

While I have said this a thousand times, I worry that all these years have obliterated parts of me. The fact that I can let myself get excited about pieces of paper make me feel like I can recover form this. One day these scars will fade, like stretch marks. At the same time I am careful to guard myself, there are still a million things that can go wrong. I am just so grateful to have all these amazing people on my side. In this adventure the most important component, is not the quality of the materials or the experts on the team, it is the people who are willing to walk through the dark forest when you are completely lost. Once you have these people with you, all the dead ends and u-turns are so much easier. Even when some of these people come with snide remarks, often made out of ignorance, they are valuable.

Thus far, the contracts have been the most stressful. You find this amazing person that you want to work with and then you have to dig through all the details of their life. A personal relationship that, to me at least, feels like a marriage turns into what at times feels like a hostile takeover. I know that this will all go away once we get through this, but it is just so uncomfortable. Like medicine that you know is working because it burns, getting the contracts done and getting them done right is painful but important if you want to keep your body parts. No matter how much we want to make this all about the personal relationship, and I think for us it is 99.99% of the time. I also want to make sure that all our butts are covered under the law. Our contract process has been fairly straight forward, and I think that can be attributed to the fact that all of us feel like we can speak our minds about the whole process. That and we try to keep a sense of humor about the whole thing.

LAUGHTER!!! It will save you more than it will ever cost you.
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