So ya there's this thing...and its a thing....AND NO NOT IN
FREAKIN LABOUR YET!
I had minor, lame contractions all day and all night, but nothing to even scale
on a pain rating and nothing even remotely close to resembling a pattern, so
basically NOTHING is happening still.
I freak people out now when strangers talk to me. They give that sweet innocent
look of ahhh cute pregnant lady "You must be due soon hey?" "I
was due on Sunday." Their jaws hit the floor, they look around for the
closest mop because sick she is so going to break her nasty water juices all
over my floor. A man stopped to talk to me on my attempt at a labour inducing
walk yesterday to ask about my pregnancy, when I told him I was overdue he took
a few steps to the side and said he didn't want to get sprayed with anything,
then he made sure I had a cell phone on me before taking off.
I honestly tried to sleep induce labour....I know LAME....and of course it did
not work. But I had a healthy dose of restage yesterday, only getting up to eat
and pee, for the whole day. Well until I realized this lame brain plan was not
working and went for a walk.
Child. Girlfriend. Princess. Listen up! You really need to come out now. Mama
does not like the weird behaviours strangers are giving her. She does not like
the feeling of having a giant head resting on her sensitive lower regions. And
seriously girl, there are a TON of cool things out here in the world, like
shoes and food (which will be all breasty and milky for you for the first 6 months,
but I hear it’s all kinds of yum). There are LOADS of people who are waiting on
pins and needles to meet you. I can't even make a flippn phone call to anyone
without creating a panic attack in the whole room they are in! I just called
your Grandpa, to innocently tell him that one of the blog readers totally
thinks he's hot (which I know! He soo has the Richard Gere thing going on hey?)
but he was in a meeting and ran out like a loon and caused all kinds of
commotion, just so I could give him a ego boost (which he liked!). So do you
see the GREAT need, the GREAT calling...your destiny is to come out of the
wombage, you'll be forced out in a week, so why not be the better person and
just come out now? OK? ok.