Cycle 22 - Cycle Day 19 - 3 Days Past Ovulation (Or Not)
I ovulated at some point, but between waking at all hours and forgetting to take OPKs when I was supposed to, I can only estimate.
People all around me are popping up pregnant again and I'm not handling it well. That's not true. I'm handling it fine. I'm not depressed or anything. I just don't care anymore. Well, more like I just don't want to hear about it anymore. I'm not mad at them, but more mad at myself. Like I'm not trying hard enough or something.
I know that sounds stupid, but I'm really not trying hard enough. I should be taking my temperature every day, taking my pills when I'm supposed to, remembering to take the OPKs and having sex when we're supposed to. I'm doing all those things, just not as well as I should. It's like I've lost all of my motivation and am just going through the motions, doing the bare minimum.
I think the problem is that I realize that once I finally become pregnant, it's going to be this nerve wracking, always waiting for the inevitable something bad to happen, experience. If I don't get pregnant, I can't have a miscarriage. Perhaps I'm subconsciously trying to save myself the pain and loss.
Cycle 22 - Cycle Day 19 - 3 Days Past Ovulation (Or Not)
I ovulated at some point, but between waking at all hours and forgetting to take OPKs when I was supposed to, I can only estimate.
People all around me are popping up pregnant again and I'm not handling it well. That's not true. I'm handling it fine. I'm not depressed or anything. I just don't care anymore. Well, more like I just don't want to hear about it anymore. I'm not mad at them, but more mad at myself. Like I'm not trying hard enough or something.
I know that sounds stupid, but I'm really not trying hard enough. I should be taking my temperature every day, taking my pills when I'm supposed to, remembering to take the OPKs and having sex when we're supposed to. I'm doing all those things, just not as well as I should. It's like I've lost all of my motivation and am just going through the motions, doing the bare minimum.
I think the problem is that I realize that once I finally become pregnant, it's going to be this nerve wracking, always waiting for the inevitable something bad to happen, experience. If I don't get pregnant, I can't have a miscarriage. Perhaps I'm subconsciously trying to save myself the pain and loss.