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"My sister is carrying my baby..."

Posted Apr 23 2009 5:26pm
We had a great anniversary celebration up at the Sherwood - pics to come soon! Quincy, our fur "baby", had a blast - loving the snow and the endless leash-free areas for him to roam.

There was another couple up there who had just gotten married on Saturday night. They were actually up there last year at this time checking the place out, and ended up chatting with Adam and me for a while. When I was checking in on Sunday I heard the bride talking to the event coordinator, telling her about this couple last year who had helped them make the final decision to choose the Sherwood...then she saw me, stopped and said, "That was you!" As it turns out, they're also from T.O. and we have lots of mutual acquaintances. Small world.

Anyway, to get to the point of this post, after dinner we were sitting in the main room of the inn watching the Superbowl, and chatting with the newlyweds. Our *pregnancy* came up - I think Adam mentioned it casually, as part of another conversation, and all of a sudden I was in explaining mode. It started with, "Well, I'm not ACTUALLY pregnant...we're expecting in June but...my sister is carrying my baby...that's why I was drinking Baileys on the rocks while playing scrabble this afternoon..." Honestly. Once I said that Jenna was carrying my baby I got a sort of weird look, and I just spun out from there. They pretended to *get it*, being all cool and casual, but I was left thinking they didn't REALLY get it.

I take for granted that when I announce "MY SISTER IS CARRYING MY BABY", or better yet, "OUR BABY", that everyone understands what that really means. It does not mean of course, that Jenna is the mother of said baby. Or that there was some bizarre arrangement between Adam and Jenna...seriously folks, people have asked me if other people wonder about this! I assume that people get that it's our baby, genetically, and that Jenna is hosting her. But I realized this weekend that most people out there probably have zero idea what gestational surrogacy really is, and so I have some explaining to do.

All in all, this tires me out. I hate that I can't just *fake* it - wear a prosthetic belly when I'm out and about (they should seriously make these for intended mothers - even if it's just for fun to pretend in front of the mirror), or just let people believe I'm the one pregnant. I was going to do that this weekend with the newlyweds, to take their congratulations and just say "Thanks!", until I thought about the Baileys. And then I thought about the caffeinated coffee...and that I wasn't "showing"...and I just couldn't pretend. It didn't feel right, but explaining it all to complete strangers felt weird too - just too intimate. It's a crazy situation, and while I can just pretend with salespeople trying to sell me a stroller, I feel compelled to explain (in far too much detail) the moment the conversation lasts longer than a minute. Maybe it's just me, but pretending to be pregnant just feels too weird.

In other baby news, Jenna is feeling SO much more and they actually felt a little push from the outside yesterday. I can't wait to feel our little girl moving around in there - I will have my hands glued to Jenna's stomach the next time I see her. We also have to record our voices so Jenn can play it for baby girl - she can actually hear the outside world now! Any suggestions for a great (long) story book we can record?

Hope you're all having a great week - thanks again for all the comments and for checking in on our progress. We really appreciate it!
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