“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him. Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand.” Psalm 127: 3 & 4
Our son's birthday, June 16, 2007.
Recently, my husband and I were at the park with our son, while my husband was off playing with him, I was talking with a neighbor and upon realizing that our son was having a hard time trying to find someone of his age to play with, I remarked that this is happening because he came too late and that is the reason he is having a hard time fitting in with other kids, as most times he is the youngest child around. My neighbor said, ‘do not say that at all, he came right on time.’
It was only after my neighbor made that comment that it came home to me, what I had really said and I began to feel really guilty and ungrateful. How could I have said that our son came too late, when it was never in my power when he should show up. My husband and I did everything to beat infertility so that he could come, but it was really up to God when he came or if, despite our efforts he should show up at all. It is therefore, in my opinion never late when a child shows up.
My husband and I began trying for a child when I was twenty-six years old and when I realized that infertility would play a part in our efforts, at first I was not at all too bothered because I thought time was on my side. Unfortunately, the years began slipping by and soon I was staring right into the face of thirty-five when it is said that a woman's fertility starts to decline, and panic took over, as I thought forty was not too far off, the deadline which was said at the time to stop trying to conceive . Well I did it before forty thankfully. I conceived our son when I was thirty-seven and he was as healthy as could be.
These days, I think of how late in our lives, our son came and wonder if he had come when we were much younger, (say we were one of those very blessed fertile young couple) and he came the minute we began trying to conceive? Would we have been ready to be the parents we need to be to him. Maybe not and so I think God knew that and that was why he chose to put us in the refinery (allowing us to have to go through infertility, because believe me, it is character building), so that we could come out as fine gold, mature parents, who are far more equipped now than if we were younger and had not have to deal with the challenge of infertility, to take on the challenges of parenthood.
Many of you struggling with infertility at this point do have age on your side but many also are in a race with time, because your age is not co-operating with you. What I want to say to you such is, do not feel frightened, do not be dismayed, God knows what he is doing and he will send those precious little ones your way when he deems you ready for them. Sometimes we think that we are so ready for things but it turns out we are not as ready as we think. I would suggest not watch the age factor too much then, just continue to do all that is in your power to have your family and leave the rest up to God, who has final say in the ultimate.
Take comfort in this therefore, and until next time, keep clinging to hope.