My parents moved out of their 9 bedroom farm house back at the end of June. It was stressful and not fun. They are moving again in September. When they asked me about our availability to help with the move, I said we were not available the long weekend as we're painting our house, or the weekend of the 26th as I have to work.
My Mom just called to say they're moving at the end of August, can we help?
"So - you're moving
this weekend?" I asked. "We're supposed to be taking N's siblings out of town for the day but I guess we can postpone that."
"This weekend is the last weekend of August?! No that's too soon, we're moving the next weekend."
"So you're moving on the long weekend?"
"Yes, we're moving on the long weekend - are you available to help?"
"Uh...... I'm going to have to talk to N about that..... we're supposed to be painting our house that weekend. I told Dad that already."
"Oh. Well - let's just leave it all up in the air and decide when we get closer" she replied.
"I can't just leave it up in the air - we're painting our entire house in a weekend and have N's family booked to come help. If we're going to cancel or postpone the whole thing to help you move, I kinda need to let people know in advance that their long weekend is going to be free or that we need help with your move." (feeling very frustrated and torn, but trying to keep talking with a calm and patient smile)
"Well, just never mind then. Pretend this conversation never happened. Pretend we're not even moving. It'll be fine. We'll figure it out."
*Sigh* "I'll talk to Nathan and see what we can do Mom. We know you need help moving. I'll get back to you or Dad."
And then she entered an area with bad cell reception and our call got cut off.
I shouldn't have sighed and I know it. I hate it when she does that *sigh* thing to me, and I turned around and did it to her. Why is it that phone calls with my Mom almost always leave me feeling like a horrible daughter?!
I called my Dad to try and confirm dates for the move. He didn't recall that I had told him about what dates we're not available, and said he was just moving whenever Mom wanted to, to try and keep her happy (or at least
less sad, mad, and whatever else). He said they'll be able to get help from people at their church this time and that it's fine if we don't come.
I feel wretched. We're only painting the house on the long weekend because N's Mom decided it wouldn't be very expensive (less than $200, we have a small house) and that since
they were free that weekend,
we would all get together and do it that weekend. She didn't really ask us - just kinda stated her idea and when I didn't immediately disagree (I was non-committal), assumed we were good to go.
I'm sure someday I'll be a mother/mother-in-law to adult children and will somehow understand where they're coming from, but for today, as the married daughter, all I can say is:
Argh *sigh* Oi @*&%^! (and repeat, with much head banging)
My Mom just called to say they're moving at the end of August, can we help?
"So - you're moving this weekend?" I asked. "We're supposed to be taking N's siblings out of town for the day but I guess we can postpone that."
"This weekend is the last weekend of August?! No that's too soon, we're moving the next weekend."
"So you're moving on the long weekend?"
"Yes, we're moving on the long weekend - are you available to help?"
"Uh...... I'm going to have to talk to N about that..... we're supposed to be painting our house that weekend. I told Dad that already."
"Oh. Well - let's just leave it all up in the air and decide when we get closer" she replied.
"I can't just leave it up in the air - we're painting our entire house in a weekend and have N's family booked to come help. If we're going to cancel or postpone the whole thing to help you move, I kinda need to let people know in advance that their long weekend is going to be free or that we need help with your move." (feeling very frustrated and torn, but trying to keep talking with a calm and patient smile)
"Well, just never mind then. Pretend this conversation never happened. Pretend we're not even moving. It'll be fine. We'll figure it out."
*Sigh* "I'll talk to Nathan and see what we can do Mom. We know you need help moving. I'll get back to you or Dad."
And then she entered an area with bad cell reception and our call got cut off.
I shouldn't have sighed and I know it. I hate it when she does that *sigh* thing to me, and I turned around and did it to her. Why is it that phone calls with my Mom almost always leave me feeling like a horrible daughter?!
I called my Dad to try and confirm dates for the move. He didn't recall that I had told him about what dates we're not available, and said he was just moving whenever Mom wanted to, to try and keep her happy (or at least less sad, mad, and whatever else). He said they'll be able to get help from people at their church this time and that it's fine if we don't come.
I feel wretched. We're only painting the house on the long weekend because N's Mom decided it wouldn't be very expensive (less than $200, we have a small house) and that since they were free that weekend, we would all get together and do it that weekend. She didn't really ask us - just kinda stated her idea and when I didn't immediately disagree (I was non-committal), assumed we were good to go.
I'm sure someday I'll be a mother/mother-in-law to adult children and will somehow understand where they're coming from, but for today, as the married daughter, all I can say is:
Argh *sigh* Oi @*&%^! (and repeat, with much head banging)