On Friday night DH left to go up north for our nephew's graduation. I decided to stay home to help a friend host a little get together at her house. After enjoying good food and company the women decided to take a walk. A C And I walked with their kids around the neighborhood. (A and C live a block from each other.) At the end C invited us in to check out her new paint colors. Then she was describing how she was going to hang pictures of her kids up the stairway. I jokingly asked if she was going to leave space for another picture just in case. (She has three beautiful girls, the youngest is 5 1/2 months.) She looked at A and said well we may have to. They both giggled. I felt my heart sink. C then said how her hubby was home last weekend and they had a little whoops moment. And she was ovulating. So if she is crying in two weeks we know why. "Crying??" I asked not quite understanding. "Well that means my last two would only be 15 months apart! It would be awful," she said. I know she wasn't trying to hurt my feelings, but she did. She proceeded to say how excited her hubby is at the prospect of another on the way.
I couldn't get out of there fast enough. I could feel my face still in shock and burning with jealousy. Oh to just fall pregnant. How would that be? I see C all the time, how do I not constantly replay that conversation over and over in my head. I told DH about it on Saturday when he returned and he tried to tell me everyone has different trials and for C having another baby right now is a hard thing. Dang him for being so wonderful! I know that... it's just did she have to say that to ME!?! Oh how I use to pray for a whoops, even when I was on BCP. Nope, not even a little bit. I wish I could switch places with her.