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Money and Babies: Part TWO

Posted Oct 21 2008 12:20am

  Did that all sound stuffy enough for you? (read part one)  I have to admit that during my first surrogacy I had NO ESCROW AGENT.....Oh My! But I also have to admit that we had no financial issues. At least none that I really remember. I do recall thinking I was over paid once and having that argument over the phone 6 months pregnant with twins was not appreciated by my IF. Needless to say I was wrong. I have to clarify that the people I had agreed to carry for were not complete strangers and therefore we already had a relationship based on trust. I trusted that they were going to do what they said they would do (it was all clearly written in the contract) and I felt that they trusted me well enough to be true to my word. No one in 1998 even suggested an escrow agent.

    Then my second surrogacy (again with twins, due in 2005) was with a couple that I did not know as well and we all agreed to deposit the surrogacy money with their attorney in CA. I have to say that the office that held the escrow had a great system which included cutting checks one day of the week and had guidelines on when to submit for reimbursements via fax. The only issue I had that really pissed me off was that for an entire year after the twins were born the hospital was not paid $1,400 for the anesthesia used during the C-section. (Ok, Raise your hand if you EVER had or heard of having a C-section without anesthesia???) Because the escrow agent/ attorney only held money for me and my surrogacy related bills, funds for any other bills such as hospital and other medical costs were not available. I continued to get threats and bills from the hospital....which I quickly forwarded to my IP's. $1,400 really damaged the relationship between me and my IP's.It took well past the twins 1st birthday to have this issue resolved. (BTW the resolution was them just paying the hospital the full amount directly...something that could have been done months before!) 

     So this brings us to my second point in the long, drawn out subject of money and babies...Surrogacy and Egg donation, along with all the professionals involved, costs MONEY and this all happens before the baby/babies are born. (and please don't let the word "donation" fool you) It's after the birth that your child continues to cost you!
    Intended Parents: Please make sure that you have enough money in your account to cover all the costs, potential or otherwise. Please remember that at all times this pregnancy is YOURS and not the surrogates. Please take notice when your surrogate is sending you (or your escrow agent) an OBGYN, anesthesia and other medical bills pertaining to your baby that it is your bill no matter who's name is on it. And Please remember that when your surrogate has just gone through labor or an operation to deliver YOUR baby it is always appropriate to send flowers, a token of your appreciation and even a heartfelt card with a gift certificate in it no matter how much money this process costs because this is the woman who gave YOU the gift that will keep on giving, the gift of life.
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