First - thank you all so much for your very sweet comments. It's great to know that there are people I've never met praying and hoping for us.
We are defintley miscarrying. I stopped all drugs yesterday. It does not look to be ectopic because my hcg levels are falling so quickly but I am having some very odd pains so I go back Thursday for another check.
I'm pretty numb right now. But - after meeting with my obgyn yesterday I felt encouraged. He said that it's great that I actually got pregnant. My body was receptive. He also reminded me that this was my first attempt with DE so I can't look at it as my 4th cycle. We talked for a long time and reviewed everything very closely. He believes this is a matter of poor egg quality. He was stunned when I told him our stats - 25 eggs retrieved, 19 fertilized and only 2 grade ones and 1 grade 2 fragmented in the end.
My husband is so wise - and I am trying so hard to listen to him. He believes that I just need to take some time off - grieve and let my body rest. That sounds natural but it's so difficult. My mind immediatley jumps to planning the next step. Adoption, DE again or Embryo Adoption. I think he's right though. I just need to breathe for a few months and not be preparing for anything. We'll see how well I do with this.....