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Men feel it too

Posted Aug 07 2009 7:15pm
“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand.”
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

A follow up to my post on male infertility........
Again, because infertility is perceived as a woman’s problem, there is more focus on how the woman copes emotionally while the man sadly is left in the shadows once again. I do think that men struggle in the same way as women do but because men are more private and do not talk about their feelings, you never know exactly what they are going through, you have to literally pull it out of them.

When my husband and I were struggling with infertility, I thought I was the only one going through all the emotional ups and downs that comes with this disease because he was always so calm and normal that I thought it did not matter to him whether he had children or not.
It was not until later on in our struggles that I decided to ask him where he stood with all that we were going through with infertility that he admitted to me that it was indeed affecting him as well but he chose to be the one emotionally strong to prevent me from feeling worst. That is really a noble thing for anyone to do. Bless his heart.

I have a very good male friend who he and his wife are experiencing infertility and I do get from him from time to time that he is emotionally distressed about it. He says little things here and there that causes me to believe that he indeed is hurting but because men do not like to talk about private issues like these and they do not wear their heart on their sleeves like women, it is very hard to know exactly what they are feeling. Sometimes I want to reach out to him so much but is often scared because he does not give me enough to use and so I feel afraid that he might think I am meddling. I do reach out to his wife though, in hopes that somehow it would help make their pain a little more bearable, knowing that my husband and I were also battling this dreaded condition. It is a little harder now since I had my son but I am hoping that through my blog I am still reaching them. They remain in my prayers.

I remember the pregnancies I lost, when I told him I was expecting, you could see how is countenance suddenly changed to some degree of sadness, so much so that when I became pregnant with my son, unlike the other times, I did not tell both he and his wife until I was very advanced because I did not want to cause them any more sadness than they were already going through.

For my male readers who are dealing with infertility in your marriage, whether you are the cause or not, I know it is hard but I challenge you not to throw in the towel, your spouse need you and you need her now more than ever. Your marriage needs you too, so fight on together, your faithfulness will surely be rewarded.

For tips on how to cope with infertility, please visit the following link:-

All the best, and keep clinging to hope.
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