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Loving My Baby

Posted Nov 16 2009 10:02pm
I finally am falling completely in love with my Harlee. Not that I didn't love her before, but things are different now.

The first four months were hard. As you can tell by the absence of posts. I was just trying to make it through another day. Babies with colic, allergies, crying-no I mean screaming, are just very difficult. Until you've been there you have no clue. I was in my primary care doctor's office one day and had Harlee with me. The receptionist had asked if she was a good baby and I proceeded to tell her what she was really like. And then she said, "Oh, honey I know what its like. I wanted to hang my son on the ceiling fan and spin it around." Yes, sounds grim. But we chuckled. She knew, she really knew. Only someone with a colicky baby would say that.

Just last week I was able to hold my Harlee facing me, her head nuzzled up to my neck, and rock her to sleep in the rocking chair. And tears were rolling down my face. I had never been able to hold her like that, to rock and comfort her. This was the moment I so longed for. Five months and it finally happened. This was THE moment for me.

My husband and I are dealing much better with the screaming. It is less frequent, but still ear-piercing. I think we are just becoming immune, tolerant, or whatever. We know she's getting better, its just that we dealt with so much of it, now every scream is one too many.

We planned on having her sleep in her own crib. Which worked for a while. Till I became paranoid of something happening to her (like not breathing) and kept checking on her a billion times. So for now she sleeps in her crib until about midnight when we go to bed and then she sleeps with us until she wakes up about 6am. I feel closer having her between us. And she has scared me a few times, choking in the night. But I bolt up, and get her back to sleep, knowing if she was in her own room I might not have heard her.

She is learning so much these days. You can see the wheels turning in her little head. Every day, she concentrates on a new skill, a new toy. The smiles are plentiful, and for a moment I forget the four months of hell. She is mesmerized by the cats and the dog, and as they walk in front of her, she stops whatever she is doing to follow them. She is not yet sitting up on her own, still face plants, but she's getting better. We fed her some rice cereal this morning for the first time. I think she did pretty good for a first try and mommy can't wait to try more. She figured out last week how to actually jump in her Jumperoo, and it is hilarious to watch her go crazy! She still doesn't like tummy time much but bath time is always her favorite-kicking and splashing away!

I promise to be better with posting. Now that my spirits are up, there's so much to share about my little pumpkin, my Squishy, my Harlee.
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