I've been trying very hard to come up with something to blog about that is not related to this whole adoption agency disaster, but I'm coming up blank. Work has been very busy as I've just started one of my new gigs (Personal Training) at the Y last week, and then I've spent every free minute working on adoption-related stuff; making phone calls, answering e-mails and working my way through mountains of paperwork . I know we're going to get to a place soon where our entire life isn't consumed by trying to recover from this devastating blow ... but we're not quite there yet. But I'm trying very hard to regain some sort of normalcy in our lives. Laundry? Oh, I remember that now. Grocery shopping? I should do that again some time.
The girls are great. I'm thankful they are just a little too young to really understand what's been going on. They've been too preoccupied with their first ever Valentine's Party at pre-school last week, or finishing their 7-week session of swim lessons this week. They are smart, busy, and ever so sweet.
A few times since this happened, I found myself hugging one of them extra tight, taking in the moment, smelling their hair, feeling their sweet, warm body hugging me back, and in that moment, my heart was at peace. I remember all too well the intense struggle for their survival almost exactly 4 years ago now, and how several times we thought we'd lose them, we'd never be able to watch them grow up. I don't think that a mother can love her children any more than she already does, but I do know for a fact that because of that experience, I don't ever take Liana and Amaya for granted. I am humbled and overjoyed at the great privilege of spending my days with them. And somewhere deep in my heart I know that one day, I will look back to this struggle right now, holding my sweet son in my arms, and feel that same overwhelming sense of joy and peace.