As of Sunday, we were 5/7 through our childbirth class. Although the class tries to be inclusive, it is strongly slanted to the med-free/intervention-free path. The whole of the class we have talked about affirmations that should be used to help mom (and dad) trust in the fact that whatever birth experience you want, it is within your reach. You know, things like "my body is meant to do this" and "birth is a beautiful process." Anyway, Sunday, the instructor passed out a sheet with some insane number of affirmations. I'm not really an affirmation type of girl, but for the present, I'm feeling empowered.
And we went to the hospital tour tonight. Nothing particularly empowering in that experience. In fact it was just an incredibly medical experience. But it did bring with it the sense of imminence. It makes me feel like the culmination of our trying to conceive and pregnancy journeys is nearing completion. It makes me feel like the sun is setting on the pregnancy.
And somewhere between the two experiences, I found a moment of boldness. I am ready. I am able. I am prepared. I am capable. And I am just shy of 32 weeks pregnant. Which means, my moment of boldness has appeared somewhere in the neighborhood of 5-10 weeks too early. The second half of this labor and delivery duo (being the baby, of course) is not quite ready to chant affirmations of his own. As impatient as I feel, I wouldn't want a new little human entering the world before he was absolutely ready. And so, let's hope that my moment of boldness is ready to stretch on for a couple of months. Or, at the very least reappear when the baby is ready to make his entrance.
Speaking of babies, I had a prenatal appointment today. All appears to be well. I am measuring 32 weeks and the heartbeat was around the 144 bpm mark. Although I rather not talk about weight gain, nothing detrimental going on in that area either. I did send my midwife and nurses into a bit of a frenzy over an elevated blood pressure. I find this amusing as my blood pressure is ALWAYS elevated in the hospital thanks to a combination of stress in getting to my appointment and stress of doctors, generally. And although it's been mentioned much, no one has ever paid much attention. But, apparently, this week my pressure was slightly elevated above my typical slightly elevated so they wouldn't let me out of there without a urine test (my provider doesn't do these routinely) and a repeat pressure check. It had settled waay down by the end of the appointment so, in the end, all was again well in the world.
And it didn't put a damper on my mood today. Today, I can do anything. This moment of boldness thing is pretty cool.