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Keepsakes and Letting Go

Posted Mar 25 2013 1:01pm

What I find for the past 4 years that I have been blogging, is that, many times I have no idea what my post will be up to the very day of posting, then something happens, something comes to mind, and just like that I have a post. Oh the joys of blogging!!!

I am not a pack rat as I like getting rid of stuff I have no use for. I like space to breathe, space for air to circulate and so I have a limit for the time that I keep stuff for, just in case I might need them for something. When that time elapses and I have not yet find use for the items, I bid them farewell.

With this said, this morning while my husband and the kids were still sleeping, I decided to do a little cleaning up. The thing with kids is that there is no order with them around, things are just generally chaotic and out of place, and as someone who likes order, I have to be making special effort to embrace and appreciate this chaos. I have to find it beautiful too, because, after all, would I be writing such a post without having my beautiful chaotic children around.

Oops, I strayed a bit here, so here I go back on track. While cleaning up this morning, I stumbled across my pregnancy tests, each still baring the signs which herald news of the conception of our three miracles. I took  them out and looked at them, still remembering how we reacted when we saw the positive sign on each test. I looked over at the children in their beds sleeping and I felt an overwhelming sense of being highly favoured by The Almighty once again.

These tests are going nowhere I thought, I will never throw them out. One of the reasons I kept them in the first place, is to incorporate them in the memories we want to soon set up for each child.

I know there are other reasons why I kept them. It might not be as easy to put into words as the first, but I am thinking that I have held on to them because I do not want to let go of any part of my struggles with infertility. I kept them because I also do not want to let go of any part of my triumph over this life altering condition.
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