I can't seem to stop smiling today. Well, that is when I am not crying.
I have been a puddle since yesterday. Don't worry, it's all tears of absolute joy.
To be honest, I did not really believe in this pregnancy until yesterday. Project As If was more of my strong will and determination to rise above the negative voices in my head that were saying, "You will miscarry. This baby will die." It was more my husband, who has had pure and utter faith in this pregnancy since the second line turned up, that was really the driving force behind Project As If.
I know we are not out of the woods yet and that there are still things that could go wrong as is the case for any woman expecting a baby. But as of today, I do believe in this pregnancy. I do believe that, come some time in July, we will have a second miracle in our lives.
I hate to sound corny and trite, but I am very humbled by this blessing. I have actually pinched myself today, because this seems like a dream and I keep waiting to wake up. Somehow, though, I am not dreaming, this is happening. I couldn't be more grateful for this blessing. I couldn't be more thankful for the many people who made their way here to express their congratulations. Many of those people are still waiting their own first blessings and my eyes fill with tears (again!) at their unselfish happiness for our family.
Project As If does not seem like a good enough name for this little one. For one thing, it's just too long and for another, it just doesn't seem very baby. For some reason, Sweetpea has been coming to my mind for the past few weeks, and I think until we know whether this one is a little boy or girl, that will do nicely.
So, it is my greatest honor to introduce you to our Little Sweetpea. . . My prayer is that he or she arrives in good health and that God helps me to be the type of woman and mother who is worthy of all that we have been blessed with.