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i need support

Posted by scared09

i just found out that i am pregnant andihave a 4 year old daughter. their fatherbroke up with me and he is blaming me saying i got pregnant on purpose and he doesnt trust me because i did get pregnant and he is not ready for a baby. he has 3 other kids with 2 other women and he got a girl pregnant in california and he was very happy abt it but she had an abortion and he got mad at her. i feel that all this stress he is puttin me thru is gonna cause me to lose my baby. please help... i need support
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I can understand how you feel.  My advice?  Let him go and don't look back.  Your children will not be happy if you are not, and they'll probably be more miserable later on if or when they find out that you wanted to stay with him for them.  He is a toxic man and whatever he says has no meaning.  Of course, you must also be willing to acknowledge your side of this equation.  I am here if you need support.  What can someone do to help?
i know that its not a healthy situation for me but its hard for me to leave. he was my first everything and i have never been with anyone else. he takes advantage of the fact that i love him and i have stuck with him thru so many things that he has done to me. i dont totally blame him and i do take half of the blame but its not totally my fault like he is tryin to make me feel like and i did not do it on purpose like he is tryin to tell people. i cried for 2 days straight from him givin me such a hard time. i even asked him to go to my first doc appointment with me and he said no but he called me yesterday talkin like nothin was wrong and he texted me askin how i was feeling. i just dont understand him. im so confused and i want my kids to have their father but he is bein so wishy washy. i just need support and i need the reassurance that everything will be ok. just friends to help me thru this because i feel alone.
it also doesnt help that im havin another baby out of wedlock cause i really wanted to be married but he doesnt wanna get married yet and he broke up with me so werenot even together. im a christian and i know right from wrong. i even stopped sleepin with him like 2 or three weeks agocause i wastryin to do better but now this. i dont see how i could be tryin to get pregnant on purpose but i stopped sleepin with him and he was so busy so we didnt do it that much anyway. i would understand him leavinme if i got pregnant by someone elsebut its his baby and i have never slept with  anyone else. i have never had anotherboyfriend. he has been the only one for 7 years.

You will be stronger and more resilient for this.. it doesn't seem that way now, but keep in mind that everything passes and that this too is a phase in your life. 

"It is darkest before the dawn."

By the way, I was pregnant on my 18th birthday and told to leave home.  But there is something to be said about struggles.. Sometimes they are God's wake-up call.  I have a feeling, though, that you believe that this man's issues are your own.  Most of the time when people behave the way that he does, it has nothing to do with you - he has some insecurities of his own to deal with.  Look around your lifestyle with him... don't you see that he would treat anyone else who was with him in the same manner?  Why do you think that this is?  It has nothing to do with you.  In your heart, you know that this is true.  You know better, so do better for yourself and your children.  You are a woman and are strong!  You are entrusted with the life of others - your children.  This is bigger than you.  Face your responsibilities, and acknowledge that you are more than what he is showing you that you are.  I promise you that it will work.  You need a little faith and a whole lot of caring. 

i just dont understand why he never wants my babies but he  was happy when this girl in california got pregnant and he was so mad at her for getting an abortion. it hurts me so much because i think of everything i have put up with and every tear i have shed and even bein there for him when he had  no one else  and this is my repayment for it. its just not fair and i never thought i would be going thru this with him. he doesnt love me or care about me and im starting to realize that now but he wants to dip in and out when he wants to and its not fair. he left me to do this alone and he doesnt deserve me. i just pray so much and i have been so stressed but im tired of him havin power and control over me but i dont know how to get it back. he talks to melike im a child and he makes me feel worthless and im a good woman. i have done nothing but try to love him and do everything in my power to keephim happy. its hard for me but it is so easy for him. you can see how down i am on myself because i feel like there is nothing i can do to get thru to him 
I hear you sweetheart! Just stay strong and let him go. If he can't step up and thinks you got pregnant on purpose when you know you didn't, he is not worth your time and energy. Just focus on your baby and you and keep the both of you healthy! Good luck!!

Wait, am I the only one who saw the part about her having been with him for 7 years and having a 4 year old, being pregnant again and still not being married? Sweety, I see that you came here asking for support, but if you are a "Good Christian" then you know you are on the wrong path with this guy! What do you think you are teaching your 4 year old by staying with someone who mistreats you? Being a single mom with a good self image will be much better for your children than who you are now.

What advice would you be giving a girl friend who was in your situation? I have to think you would say "Get out and go be with your family, friends and your children". You need to get far far away from this guy and be with people who support and encourage you through this pregnancy and in changing your life into what you see that it can be. You need to only spend time with people who really care and encourage you to have more confidence and pursue your goals and dreams. Life is short, ditch the metally abusive looser who wont commit!

im telling you now, if he is making you feel this unstable and emotional then get away from him for your little miracles health, the surge of hormones from the stress he is giving you can cause mental instability in the unborn child, premature or preterm labor, and even a miscarriage. dont let this wolf in sheeps clothing take this bundle of joy from you.
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