After I had T1 and T2, both Rob and I FELT that there was another baby WAITING to come to our family. We knew it even when T2 was very small. There was never a doubt we would have another one.
T3 waited pretty patiently.
I felt him hovering about and knew he was there, but I felt no urgency. It wasn’t until Jan of 2005 in Relief Society watching the pregnant chorister when I felt like “NOW, I am ready NOW!” (I don’t know if that feeling was from him or me!)
We had been casual with birth control for a few months, but I was now ready to TRY. I may have actually been pregnant when I got that feeling as he was born in October and I can’t remember what week of January that happened.
I haven’t had that feeling since T3 was born
I don’t feel a baby waiting and neither does Rob. We never have. Once T3 was born there was no more baby hovering around. I keep thinking maybe we will feel that. But with prayer and fasting and wanting, that feeling still isn’t there.
I guess that means we are done.
Is it really that simple??
What if that makes me feel sad?
I am still pretty open to whatever happens, but since coming to this simple “answer”, I have let go of the drama surrounding the question of “Are we done?”
If we are meant to have another baby, T4 will appear. If he doesn’t then I guess we are not meant to have 4 things.
I am at peace either way. (Well, honestly if I got pregnant it would probably freak me out to some extent, but I think I would quickly come to peace with it and be very excited.)