attempting an abortion on your own is extremely dangerous.There could be complications, infection, etc etc. 

I just have to ask: Can you explain how you can't go through the pain of giving your child a chance at life with parents who will love him/her through adoption- but you are willing to kill him/her? How is that the better alternative?

I would suggest that perhaps you find someone (a professional) to whom you can talk to about your particular situation so that you can see the big picture.