Today I got my Serum Estradial results back. I was supposed to be under 50 to proceed with this cycle and be on time for everything in Rochester December 16-23. Because things have to be so properly timed to do this transfer on a certain day in Rochester, we (and my doctor and the nurses at Mayo Clinic) had to make a lot of educated guesses and bets when we set the date and bought our tickets. Not only were we "betting" that my Estradial would be under 50, we were also having to put a lot of hope in the local hospital to get the results back really fast (4 days) since our lab on Base doesn't run this test, they had to send the results to the local Portuguese hospital.
Well today the local hospital got the results. They came in and were very good. My Estradial was actually less than 9. Well below the 50 limit that it needed to be.
I spoke with the nurse and everything is on track for a transfer sometime around December 22. In addition, she confirmed that the depression-like symptoms I have been experiencing since starting on Lupron should start being alleviated tomorrow when we decrease the Lurpon and begin a new medicine (Estrace.)
I laughed with the nurse when I said, "I know this is the fifth time I have done this, but I just don't remember feeling this low in the past. I'm crying all the time. I'm also having bad headaches."
"Yes," she confirmed. "You've basically put your body into an early menopause. Thus the reason you feel like that. Not all women drop really low, but many do. Starting tomorrow things should start getting a little bit better every day."
Praise the Lord!
When I feel like this I can't help but feel my heart go out for others. Infertility is hard stuff. In fact, “The depression and anxiety experienced by infertile women are equivalent to that in women suffering from a terminal illness,” says Alice Domar, Ph.D., director of the Mind/Body Center for Women’s Health in Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center at Harvard Medical School.
Not only do I grieve for those women who are "forced" to travel this road, but my heart also goes out to people dealing with depression of any kind. Feeling low is no joke. My Aunt Connie and I have been talking about depression a lot and especially ways you can support those you love when they are fighting this difficult beast. I plan to do a post on this in the near future. I have been so blessed to have JB and Connie and a few other close friends helping me navigate this road.
In the meantime, your prayers for me are appreciated. And please add to your prayers other women dealing with infertility, loss, grief, and people navigating the messy road of depression.