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Fuck you, Flag Day

Posted Jun 14 2010 11:01am
Oh, Flag Day... you seemingly benign holiday. To be honest, seven years ago I didn't even know about you. I suppose your intended purpose is to celebrate Old Glory, the Stars and Stripes? I still really don't know. What I do know is that you mock me. And I'm tired of it. I understand Christmas causing heartache because I don't have anyone to convince of Santa's existence by leaving "Reindeer Food" in my front yard. Easter is painful because I don't have anyone to put in a bonnet or argyle sweater. Halloween sucks because I am stuck buying costumes for my four legged babies and they really resent it. Thanksgiving is a bitch because my Grandma passed away on Thanksgiving Day (but at least it's not baby-related suckage). But Flag Day now holds the spot for most heart-wrenching holiday.
Flag Day is the birthday of an ex who left me quite bruised and broken emotionally. And, although I have managed to go on to bigger and better things and a life that I'm so thankful for in so many ways, the day I remember him is Flag Day. So, for the past half-decade it's been a not-so-pleasant day. So, you can imagine my surprise when it became my expected due date after IVF #1. I remember wondering if the universe had finally decided to smile upon me. Not only was I getting the baby I so longed for, but Flag Day wouldn't be a giant suck-fest. True, chances of delivering on one's due date are slim, but June 14th would always been when our baby was due, not some dipshit's birthday. My oldest niece's birthday is June 13th - cousins would be able to have birthday celebrations together. Flag Day would be a day to be so thankful for. A perfect illustration of how things always do work out. What was once a painful reminder of someone would become a heartwarming reminder of when we were going to first meet our little one. Every time I dated a letter June 14th it wouldn't be a jab-to-the-gut reminder of a self-involved ass but a smile-provoking date involving our child. But, as you are all well aware, things don't always work out. Sometimes a day just blows. And, today, Flag Day, June 14th, blows. Because here I am on my estimated due date and I'm no longer due.
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