When I was pregnant with my daughter I stumbled across http://www.ivillage.com. iVillage is a website devoted to women and all that women are concerned with, fashion, entertainment, relationships, and health, among other things. Most importantly for me at the time, they had a huge amount of information about pregnancy.
After browsing their pregnancy calendars and articles, I found a link to the boards they offer. Every topic iVillage covers on the website has it's own board as well, but I was only interested in the pregnancy boards. I found the May 2000 expecting club and immediately became addicted.
At 19, it wasn't like I had friends who could relate to what I was going through. Here I could virtually meet and speak with hundreds of other women due at the same time as me, some with their first like I was and some with many and a wealth of experience and knowledge. Here you could ask the "dumb" questions you feel uncomfortable asking your doctor or partner. Here you could get support when things where getting difficult. And here you could vent when your family, friends or work was getting on your last nerve. It was like a safe haven for all things pregnancy. The women in this group were wonderful, celebrating every milestone and sympathizing with every heartbreak we each encountered.
After the birth all of our babies, we entered the May 2000 playgroup. Being a single mom, I faded away, too busy to keep up with the women, but always with the knowledge that I could return and be welcomed back with open arms.
When I became pregnant again, iVillage was the first place I turned. The March 2006 expecting club was just as wonderful as I remembered the May 2000 group being. I also joined the multiples expecting board and the baby naming board and found both fun and interesting places to be. When I had my miscarriage, the amount of support I received was huge. These women seemed to really feel my pain. Many had gone through miscarriages previously and others were going through them right with me. I was referred to the coping with miscarriage board and visited a few times, but sice I wasn't ready to deal with what had happened to me, it wasn't as helpful as it could have been.
Upon my last pregnancy I joined the July 2006 expecting club, and to my surprise, these women where as great as the first two groups. I guess there is something about pregnancy that helps us bond together as women. I also joined the high risk expecting club. When I had the miscarriage, I once again tried the miscarriage board, but again didn't feel comfortable enough to stay.
Over the years I have participated in many groups including the trying to conceive board and the trying after a miscarriage board, but never became all that involved. I have also visited other websites pregnancy boards, but never really liked the formats they had. But every time I become pregnant, iVillage pregnancy boards are the first place I go. It may be force of habit, but I feel at home there.
If you're pregnant, trying to become pregnant, had a miscarriage, have infertility problems, etc. iVillage has a board for exactly what you're going through. I suggest you check it out and see if it's the place for you. If nothing else, you can never have too many people to vent to.
Next time: You chose a name, then had a miscarriage, what do you do?