One of the great things about attending a church service is hearing a message or part of a message that resonates with your current situation. Today, that all important piece of the morning centered around fear. The verse: For God has not given us a spirit of fear. II Tim. 1:7. The point: not only can fear steal life from us, but more importantly, fear is not a state of being in which we are intended to find ourselves.
I don't know if I would describe myself as fearful, but I am really cautious right now. We worked really hard to get pregnant, and the thought that it can all come crashing down is a little frightening. That said, I think that I deserve to fully enjoy this miracle. If a bad outcome is in our future, living in fear of it will not prevent it from being. And worse, fear has a way of leaving you with tainted memories. And I refuse to let fear muddle my pregnancy memories.
By the time we had reached this cycle, I had gotten a pretty good handle on feeling peaceful regardless of the outcomes of our cycles. Then we got pregnant and a whole new set of "concerns" presented themselves. I'm really having to work hard to regain that peace and not fall prey to the fear. But I am choosing to make that move. I want to be excited about ultrasounds, not anxious. I want to look forward to a new baby, not just to the next appointment. I want to experience a joy-filled pregnancy, not a worry-filled one. So to this verse I return:
Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. John 14:27.