Today is cycle day (CD 24) and I still have no sign of ovulating on my chart. My temps have just stayed right around 97 degrees, my average pre-o level. DH and I have been BDing (baby dancing) as much as we can so as not to miss our window of opportunity. However, it kinda takes the mood out of it to BD just because you "have to". Whatever happened to the spontaneous lovemaking? When you're TTC, its difficult because you want a baby so badly, and you have to make sure that you BD when you are ovulating in order for that to happen. Women only ovulate for 12-24 hours so when you get the signs, you have to get to work, so to speak. It almost becomes a demand rather than a natural course of action.
Anyway, my chart this month is not looking so good at this point. I'm hoping my O is just delayed and that I'm not annovulatory. I'm keeping a close eye on everything, hence the title "Egg Watch". I feel like a detective looking for the slightest clue of an egg release. See what TTC has led me to?
DH sometimes thinks I'm crazy and I can see why. TTCers tend to turn from normal women into baby craving beasts that scrutinize every little natural body function into a fertility sign. But we can't help it. The vast majority of us have to overcome many hurdles to achieve pregnancy. For all the millions of people you hear about getting pregnant by "accident", there are a million more that try for years before finally getting their sticky bean. It's like if we want this to happen, we have to be proactive, and even somewhat aggressive in our quest.
Everyone tells TTCers to "relax and it will happen". But that is much easier said than done. It is impossible to relax when you have to go through so much to attain something. They have probably never had to work as hard as others to get pregnant. They have never probably had to go through progesterone creams, Clomid, semen analyses, Metformin, surgery or miscarriage. And if we did relax, it would probably take even longer to conceive, since we'd be more lax in our efforts. If someone has a low sperm count by nature, how is relaxing going to help anything? If someone has a thyroid disorder, will relaxing help it to magically go away? I think people really don't know what to say and in an attempt to be supportive, they just say something generic. The truth is that what you say can be more hurtful than not saying anything at all. It would be more helpful to say that you are behind us and here for us when we need to vent. I've learned to forgive people for what they say, but it gets hard to constantly explain to people what they don't understand.
My main objective in all of this is to remain positive - and never dismiss the power of positive thinking. I keep telling myself that I'll be more appreciative of motherhood because I've had to work so hard for it. You tend to take more pride in something you had to earn than when it is just handed to you. I'm crossing my fingers for a temp rise! Share some O dust with me, people!