There was a time in the not too distant past when both of my hands were busy was referred to as double fisting. It was often late at night. I was usually dressed up in something slightly trampy cute. I was usually tipsy and having a great time with friends.

Now, my version of double fisting is spooning applesauce into Lorelei's mouth while simultaneously spooning fruit salad into Jocelyn's mouth. In the morning. In three day old pajamas. In desperate need of a shower. And coffee. Yet, still having a pretty good time. Until someone spits fruit at me.

Then again, I never much liked getting beer spit at me either. Yeah, that happened. On purpose. One of the husband's old fuck buddies didn't appreciate him ditching her to be with me. So, she took a sip of beer and spit it at my face. Miraculously, I'm friends with her now. I'm such a grown-up.