I guess you can say my compassion for those who deal with infertility started early in life. When my sister and I were in high school, we found out that my sister had to have one of her ovaries removed. Lucky for her she still had a healthy one, but it just made our family think how easily one’s fertility can be taken away.
Several years later I came across an article on surrogacy. While I was reading it, those old feelings stirred up from my sister’s diagnosis. I felt so badly for this couple that couldn’t experience having a child. Then I got to thinking… I am the perfect candidate to be a surrogate. I am in my early 30s, have had two healthy children, a supportive husband and most importantly, textbook pregnancies. I could do this.
So I did. I spoke with my husband about the idea and at first he was a little skeptical, but after doing the research and going in for a consultation on the process, he agreed that this could be a great gift for someone. So we signed up.
And, just like my pregnancies, I had a textbook surrogacy. Everything just fell into place. It’s like I was meant to do this. The hardest part was meeting the intended parents and telling my 10-year-old daughter.
Meeting the parents was a big deal for us. You have no idea what this couple is going to be like. There is this fear you have about not really meshing with the couple, then what? It also didn’t help that my husband is very protective and had his guard up. But when we met our intended parents, all that anxiety just melted away. (Kudos to ARR for matching us.) Something clicked and before we knew it two hours had passed.
As for telling my daughter, we didn’t say anything to her until I started to show. We explained to her that the baby was not related to us and we were helping a couple start a family. She was so grown up about it. She was more curious about how the process worked. To be honest, I was more freaked out then she was.
I am sure most surrogates say this all the time, but this truly was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. I created a family for two people who could not otherwise do so. If it weren’t for my sister and what could have been for her, I probably never would have thought twice about it.