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Cd 1, thoughts and extreme fatigue

Posted May 19 2011 3:04pm
Cd 1 hit on Tuesday night, I had been spotting all day wondering what it was as it was my first day holding Alana and that I wasn't due for Cd1 until the 20th then it hit by bedtime. I was shocked, I had no warning cramps, no pain at all. Hooray!  Then Alana woke up at 4:30am (teeth) and by five I could feel the cramping coming on, I panicked and took a pain pill and I was still hurting lightly through the perc.ocet by the time I woke up for the day. I called Mom and she and two of my nieces came over to help with Alana and clean my house ( I love her) she picked up lunch for me when she and my nieces and Alana went out for a bite, she also got me supper before she left. ahhh.
    I am so stinking tired it's nuts, honestly. The extreme fatigue is really bad right now, I was very down yesterday feeling like right when I was trying to feel normal I got knocked back down. I feel more positive today, I guess because cramping is better (but not gone) and I can see an end in sight. The cramping is different than it was pre surgery, before it felt like a massive squeezing of my insides and now it's just pain but no squeezing feeling. We have an outing planned for Saturday so I'm hoping to be better by then.

I'm going everywhere with my thoughts on having the lap, my Ob said we should have "done this earlier" at my post op appointment when I told him the results of surgery. I smiled and didn't say anything but I'm glad I didn't have it before now for several reasons....

1. If we had done this before we wouldn't have Alana, and that is simply unthinkable.
2. I wouldn't have done it at the CEC and likely wouldn't have had my bowel fixed.
 3. If I hadn't done it at the CEC and had done it earlier how many surgeries would I have to have before finding them?

I worry about what people think now, which is unlike me. I was talking to Grant and saying I don't want anyone to think we did this because Alana wasn't "enough" and that we wanted "one of our own" this is ABSOLUTELY NOT THE CASE. I am honestly 100%  happy being Alana's Mommy, I would love to adopted 9 more and live out our crunchy homeschooling days. That being said I would like the experience of pregnancy....but don't care where my baby comes from. Alana healed my heart and soul, I no longer feel infertile. I feel like the moment I held her in my arms, happiness and contentment found me. Now with this surgery I look forward to having a wonderful life filled with loving my husband and sweet miracle baby girl with no menstrual pain, no bowel issues and more consistent energy.
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