Okay, now I am going to bring up a topic that is the mine field of the mommy wars. BREASTFEEDING! Let me start by saying that I was not breastfed, and believe with all my heart that I was in no way negatively affected. Being that I research everything about babies and what is best for them, I have read a lot on the subject. Since I am not giving birth there are a few options open.
1. Let surro-mom breastfeed for the first couple of days.
Pros: Baby get some benefit. Might make surrogate feel better.
Cons: Baby not getting full benefit. More bonding between surrogate and baby (the whole one more thing I can not do for my child, completely my own issue). Logistics if baby or surrogate is released from the hospital. Surrogate may not want to do this.
2. Take drugs to induce lactation so I can feed baby.
Pros: Good for baby. Good for waist line.
Cons: Creeps me out more than Alfred Hitchcock. Have to take a bunch of drugs. Still have to use bottle and formula. Still creeping me out and now is making me doubt mothering ability.
3. Let the surrogate pump and ship to us so we can feed with bottle.
Pros: Great for baby. Great for surrogates waist line. Easy for me and not creepy.
Cons: Expense (it will either be cheaper or more expensive than formula). Still have to use formula if something happens to shipment.
I know that this issue is controversial, and that I am putting the cart miles in front of the horse, but this is what you think about waiting around. What brought all this up is another blogger, which I should have bookmarked and did not, who is breast feeding her baby who was carried by her sister. Along with beautiful stories of her daughter, she also talks about breastfeeding. Before reading this, I had done some of my own research on the issue.
The more that I think about induced lactation, the more it just freaks me out, and the more freaked out I get the more I worry that I will not bond with the child. I know that this is crazy, but that is the way my mind works. If I am really going to feel that this is my child then feeding them from my body should be a no brainier, and it is not. See I told you it is not good to have so much time to think about this stuff.
Seriously, I think that having the surrogate pump. To me this makes the most sense.