BABIES, BABIES, EVERYWHERE!!!!!- Cooping with babies while dealing with infertility.
Posted Jan 26 2010 6:29am
Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him. Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand Psalm 127: 3 & 4
"HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"
Do you ever noticed that whenever you are struggling with something, this is when situations relating to that which you struggle, come at you from all angles, to actually test the fabric of your being and causes you to feel even worst.
So may things affected me when I was dealing with infertility and the sight of babies was one such, and was easily one of the hardest things I ever had to deal with during this struggle. For persons I knew who were pregnant, (and this sadly included my family as well), I would make it through their pregnancies, (as hard as it was) but as soon as the babies arrive, my misery was taken to another level. I am not sure why, but I am led to believe that it is because the babies were there now, in the flesh, in all their ‘bundle of joy glory' and it made me feel so sad, that I was not the recipient of any. I was not holding one in my arms, and feeling like the luckiest woman in the world, instead I was there feeling jealous and defeated and so sorry for myself.
It did not matter if I was in a good mood before I saw a baby, my mood always took a down-turn from there. I remember I went for groceries one Sunday. I do not normally shop for groceries on Sundays but now and then I sneak one in because grocery shopping takes on a new dimension for me when I do it on Sundays as I find it so relaxing. This particular Sunday, it was like babies were coming from out of the walls of the supermarket. There were babies, babies everywhere, twin ones, cute ones, you name it. I could not believe my eyes. I felt as if they were all looking at me in my distress and taunting me. So much for my leisurely Sunday shopping, I had to hurry up and finish my shopping for the sake of my sanity. Needless to say, my whole entire evening was ruined. I remember relating this to a family member, who had called soon after I got home and her response totally added to the downturn of my evening, she said, “try and block things like those.” Block it? I said to myself, how does one do that? I know she was trying to help her dear sister, but that goal was certainly not accomplished in my book and it really did not help and made me feel worst because she had children and would therefore never ever know what situations like these feel like.
Everyone who wants children and has to struggle with infertility or other reasons for not having them, do deal with this difficult situation and I regret that I do not have any recommendations of my own, for cooping in this regard, having gone through this because, put simply, I just did not cope. What I realised however, and maybe that helped me cope, was that when I allowed myself to remain in the presense of babies, even holding them, (albeit difficult), I walked out of the situaton feeling so much better.
1. “Accept that exposure to babies is a reality of life. Even though it feels as if infertility has stopped your world, the rest of the world continues to move along its merry path of fertility. Facing this reality head on will spare you being blindsided as frequently.”
Be encouraged therefore, and until next time, keep clinging to hope.