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ATTENTION FERTILES: Do not buy these onesies as gifts for babies of your infertile friends

Posted Jan 14 2009 7:21pm

I'm sitting here trying not to think about what's shakin' in my and Chance's girlie parts, so as a distraction, I'm trolling around on various Websites looking for a gift for a certain blogger's brand new baby via surrogacy. With my quirky and sophomoric sense of humor, I do love a onesie with a totally inappropriate saying printed on the front. However, I ran across a few that while meant to be funny (for a typical fertile), did nothing but nag at my infertile cringe -bone.

And so I present to you, the Top 5 Onesies NOT to Buy for an Infertile Friend's Baby:

Fertiles, I'm talking to YOU. Seriously, don't do it:

Born free

 "Now that I'm born, I'm not as expensive" might be more appropriate, or perhaps "Born expensive, STILL expensive" might work.

Not daddy

 Don't even think about this one if there was a sperm donor involved. Buying this shirt most certainly will get your ass kicked. 

Not real parents  

Hey Fertile Fanny - do NOT let this shirt be the punchline of all those nasty comments you made to your infertile friend about egg donation, sperm donation, embryo donation, or adoption, hmmmkay?

Puts out If you're not 100% sure that conception didn't take place "the old fashioned way," do not buy this shirt. Putting out doesn't always result in putting in a baby.

And the biggest no-no of them all...

Still alive What the fizzle? Are you implying that if a woman has suffered a miscarriage, stillbirth, or neonatal loss that it was because she did something wrong?

If you're an infertile or a parent after infertility, what's the stupidest thing someone ever said to you?

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